Rex Riot

Listen everyone you need to read the fourth three body problem book and stop talking to me like I’m a child whenever I bring it up

I made my daughters whale shark stuffy “whaliam” and really feel like I didn’t get enough credit for that

Hot take wok hei is just carbon steel without enough oil

My daughter is eating a nectarine and she will not stop calling it a wolverine

I think about the hexagon on top of Saturn every day

My 4yo daughter just now unprompted: you should get me a little trumpet

Just used an emoji in an excel formula out of necessity… I think I need to put it down for a minute and touch grass

I’m so fucking old dude I’ve seen more than half the Superbowls

Can’t wait for Bad Bunny to win this game

How come every car is like $50k and ugly now?

The irony of American TikTok users experiencing wide-spread political censorship AFTER the platform changed hands from CCP-controlled ownership is absolutely red hot

My daughter is now refusing to let my wife wash her hair unless she promises not to “go crazy on it”

When I was a kid I thought The Sneeches was about equality but now I realize it’s about corporate greed and it slaps that much harder.

Buffalo wings aren’t just not named after the animal… they’re named after a city named after a creek named after a dude.

New cooking level unlocked… went to the Asian grocery and when I got to the checkout the lady looked at my basket and started speaking Korean to me.

Pluribus is ok so far but I liked the Rick and Morty version better

My daughter just told me I was very fat and very handsome and frankly hard agree

I feel like 90% of art TikTok is just people telling you in a calm voice not to worry about making mistakes and like… are we really that freaked out all the time yall?

This morning my daughter asked me if water was “all the same water or a bunch of different water”…

Just saw an Alpina B8 on the street and I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.