riley

Reading Patti’s memoir inspired me to start writing my own just to have a record of my life thus far, however this is how far I got last night:

bc it does!

i facetime sybil as if my life depends on it

david schwimmer looks like a hot dog

beyoncé is not doing runs on her new album no bc she is SPRINTING 🏃🏾‍♀️ she is in the first heat of the 100m dash and she is brEAKING RECORDS!

@imkattweston @ChrisBeyy @_JulianXavier yes you would be 💀

@ChrisBeyy @_JulianXavier @ripi_alex 💀

would you? be honest @_JulianXavier @ChrisBeyy @ripi_alex

you better believe when i’m tipsy i’m gonna respond to your silly little insta story

“i wanna be an anal fly on your anus.” #happynewyear

me and sybil

rihanna’s “take a bow” came on my shuffle time to get mad at the two-timing boyfriend i don’t have #donttxt

@sybilIllionaire i love you sybby booby

squatty potties change lives

what olivia rodrigo’s publicist was like when they got THAT email:

@sybilIllionaire right. down. the middle.

My dad loves to ask Alexa what the weather is gonna be

Idk about you but when you’re speakin skat, nothin else matters

@sybilIllionaire rt

I live alone but I still put the seat down bc as a man it’s the least I can do

@JulianXavierW @imkattweston Ew no way katt stop

my period is crazy because I won’t crave sugar ever...but this week I ate a whole bag of jellybeans in 2 days.

@JulianXavierW @imkattweston @ChrisBeyy No julian pls Riley deserves some worrying