Rebecca Bay

Today at Old Navy my total was $101.88. I used 101 reward dollars so I had to pay 88¢ in real money. A cashier, not even my cashier, looked at me and said, "You're an animal!" That's really the support women should give other women these days #womenupliftingwomen

I vacuumed on Saturday and the residual dust that I kicked up is still causing me to sneeze FOUR DAYS LATER. The lesson I will extract from this experience is that I should never vacuum again, and I will not be taking any outside opinions on this matter.

I just used the phrase "The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me" to rationalize eating cheese for dinner. Not all pursuits are noble #thisis31

@awagsz Self-fulfilling prophecy? We love it.

@rmbay she’s thinking you know that’s not such a bad idea, maybe she’ll prove them right after all

today I heard a rumor from 3 different people that I was quitting my job

Monday keeps happening every seven days and there's nothing we can do about it. The world is cruel.

@tommykeene It makes it easier to escape!

Honest question for my friends in Christ who reverse into parking spaces: Why?

@DeidraBalchak Three years ago I picked my square because I wanted to be next to my friend on the board (might have even been you?) #norules

@rachsyme This delightful purple dragon Squishmallow! (Did I actually buy it for someone who's turning 5 years old and then when it arrived, immediately order a second one so I could have one too? Yes, yes I did.)

If I could be as tenacious in any aspect of my life as this three-week-old zit on my face is, I'd really be going places

@sistersharpie I think I could probably find someone at work who'd love to explain this fo' free so you can save your genie wish for something FRIVOLOUS

You know how sometimes you just need to lie on the floor?

@JillianSacco Okay but who was it

I'm continually amazed by the AUDACITY the microwave has, to beep twice when I don't get my food out of it within a minute or two. What gives it the right? What does it do around this place to have such an attitude?

For those contemplating a detox or cleanse in the new year, here’s a toxicologist’s explanation of how they work: They don’t.

If you're clipping your nails while sitting at a gate at the airport there is a 7000% chance that I hate you

Everyone in Hallmark movies has perfect hair and I hate it

@ImMeganCollins Also She's the Man: "I'm brilliant, shhhh!!!"

@ImMeganCollins She's the Man: "Viola, darling ... remember, chew like you have a secret."

Okay, but how did Kevin order a pizza from Little Nero's if the phone lines were down?

I feel personally attacked by the TurboTax email telling me I could get ahead and do my 2022 taxes now