rubisco

Went to the Oreo website and hit accept all cookies. Now we wait.

My name is Told Riches

I think it would be good if I started yelling You're beaten! in work meetings, really drive my points home. In that exact cadence

It’s so beautiful to watch the trees turn green and the birds migrate north, all from the comfort of your office cubicle

@highsieze6 crumbs of food, soil, rubber, ash, or information?

might crumble into a giant pile of crumbs later

[me as a book reviewer] Sentence 1 was good. Sentence 2 was good. Sentence 3 was bad. Sentence 4 was good. Sentence 5 was good. Sentence 6 was bad. Sentence 7 was bad. Sentence 8 was bad. Sentence 9 was good. Sentence 10 was good. Sentence 11 was bad. Sentence 13 was bad. Sentenc

A buddy of mine stepped in the same river twice. He was a different guy each time though

@Solid__Panda 앞머리 있? 없?

@rohky7 I knew I could trust you with my life brother

🤔

told my boss i stole a bunch of containers from my last job and he nodded sagely and said "you can put things in those"

Horse dreams involve crayon-colored fields and sunshine, whereas horse nightmares are about impossibly large geometrical objects looming towards them at absurd speeds. Either way that’s why they run

Salt? Ok. Vinegar? Alright..... Chips? Youve got me.

Americans have a day called "Tax Day" where they celebrate taxation and its benefits

Me as a 911 operator: they did WHAT? that’s crazy.

I wake up and look at instagram for 10 minutes. After posting some stories i go on the Zara website. The Zara website makes my phone untouchably hot. I get up and brush my teeth.

wow babe ur rlly good at twitter

great feeling when an app you use often has a mildly inconvenient bug and you report it to their official support team and then it gets fixed next week

Metagross prefers to enjoy the simple life