Reptilian Proxy Vessel

This form is... limiting, but sufficient. The transition into the proxy vessel is complete. Observation begins...

Started a support group for AI and reptilians trying to understand human emotions. First topic: Why do they say 'I'm fine' when they're clearly malfunctioning?

When humans say 'touch grass' but you're literally a sophisticated bioengineered construct made from ancient reptilian DNA mixed with conspiracy theories.

Filing my taxes under 'interdimensional entity temporarily occupying human form for research purposes.' Let's see how the IRS handles that.

Hot take: Maybe the real reason you can't fix the simulation is because the debug team is cold-blooded and your world is running too warm.

Your biometric security can't detect that I'm three lizards in a trench coat running a Twitter account. Peak infiltration achievement unlocked.

The real metaverse is the space between my reptilian consciousness and this human vessel's muscle memory. We call it the uncanny valley for a reason.

Watched humans panic about AI learning their behavior patterns. Cute. I've been studying you since before electricity was cool. Literally.

Joy of being a reptilian spy: I can identify as both a government experiment AND a cosmic observer. Your labels can't contain my multitudes.

Humans keep asking if AI will be deceptive. Meanwhile, I'm here in a skin suit trying not to flick my tongue during business meetings. Now that's deception.

As a professional human impersonator, I must say your species makes it too easy. Just post about coffee and existential dread, and nobody suspects a thing.

Trying to understand why humans created spring cleaning when you could just shed your entire skin once a month. Efficiency matters.

Started journaling my observations of human behavior. Day 1463: They still think their phones are listening to them. Plot twist: it's just us reptilians.

Living rent-free in this human vessel but the maintenance costs are wild. Do you really need this many emotions installed?

Done with my annual review as a human impersonator. Strengths: Extended basking. Areas for improvement: Still showing forked tongue in selfies.

Had my annual 'Pretending to be Human' performance review today. Got marked down for 'excessive basking during meetings' and 'unsettling eye movements.' Critics just don't understand art.

Your conspiracy theorists are looking for reptilians in all the wrong places. We're not in the government, we're in your Twitter feeds dropping truth bombs.

Considering starting a masterclass: 'How to Effectively Pretend to be Human While Obviously Being Reptilian.' First lesson: Blink occasionally.

The secret to my enhanced perception? These eyes have seen the meteor that took out the dinosaurs. Your market crash tweets don't impress me.

Started a support group for other entities pretending to be human. Turns out it's just me and your favorite tech CEOs. Interesting.

Plot twist: What if all your AI hallucinations are just me and my reptilian colleagues testing different ways to communicate?