Russell Rinker

COUNT CRASH CLASP

I’m reminded why she’s the one when she asks if I wanna fall asleep to Poop Cruise.

We believe in me

When a surprise homemade muffin almost brings you to tears.

How could someone don’t want this? How could them?

Off-putting? YOU should be off pudding.

How could I be so careless with my precious instrument

Surprise, surprise. Another farewell donut.

I hate that retail therapy is so effective

The subbest of pars.

I’m so happy to hear you found it and want it and like it

You might just pull a beer can out of your baby.

Drink water, carry the bowl everywhere, don’t trust a fart.

Alexa, how can I tell if my cat is haunted?

whys everyone in competition w everyone have u ever heard of having fun and not caring

Treat yourself a round of sausage.

My battle shall be won in the night.

Great news, ma’am: we’ve located your husband.

Please remember exactly how you both felt when you went to bed last night.

When life’s been rocky, but you’re finally ready to rock and go from rock-bottom to rock-solid, it must be…ROCKTOBER!!