rui

reintro. hello, i'm your resident writer (who wishes he can write more fluff) who loves coffee and mostly needs sleep. nice to meet you! 💗

#iwaoi hajime visiting tooru in san juan for the first time since they went their separate ways overseas, and seeing tooru in the flesh again feels like a punch to hajime’s guts. sun-drenched tooru, whose face lights up with the brightest grin hajime has ever seen when he spots

why does asking for more always makes me feel like i'm being too much? why does it make me feel like i am not allowed to make space, to exist, to be me.

i was only accepted for who i told them i was, and the saddest part is they weren't that curious to know more of me. now i'm up late at night wondering if they truly loved me.

they didn't know the way i cry when everything's too much, or how my voice cracks as i hold it in, they didn't know how i strive to be perfect, they didn't know how i feared abandonment that it rings in my bones.

to be loved is to be known. and for the longest time i thought that i was known by the people that i loved, but i was wrong. all they did was accept everything at face value, without going as far as studying me.

at a time like this, grey skies and the quiet of the night is a nice company.

iwaoi is the type of couple that uses the smooch currency like iwa: lets go out for ramen tooru: but i’m lazy- iwa: i’ll give you 3 kisses. tooru, whining: only 3??? that’s so cheap of you iwa chan iwa: 5 kisses and a cuddle session tooru: deal.

@nic6tine lagi naman 🤪🤪🤪

@ruwikawa crush mo nanaman ako, mahal. i love you, my pretty baby.

iwaizumi hajime sobrang pogi mo talaga. 😔😔😔😔 pogi mo po baby @nic6tine

although there is no carved out path for you, from that point forward you have to make your choices and either you are blessed by fate or cursed to be hurt. whatever happens at the end of the day, at least you tried, and maybe that's enough.

trying is scary. putting yourself out there is terrifying. restoring your faith in love is bone-rattling. but all it takes is one step.

i want to be loved, and held, and assured but i have learned to carry the weight of my own feelings for a long time that surrendering my heart and my armor feels close to impossible; if i tell you i am falling will you be there to catch me?

i want to swallow my heart at times, hold back my tongue, and dry out my tears. although i know that the bottle will burst eventually, all of the ugly that i try to hide away from your eyes will soon reveal itself.

i used to think that i was great at running away from my feelings, that i am an expert at burying what i feel deep inside of me; little did i know i leave a trail of debris every single time.

no one prepares you for what happens when everything ends, because we are all dreamers here that hope we find forever in our person. but there are times that dreams remain as they are as you watch them walk away from everything, and you are left with no choice but to move forward

maybe by then i'll find out what i did wrong. but hours, days, and weeks goes by and i still hear nothing from you. perhaps it's time to finally accept that for all those days that you did not reaching out, it was already a clear sign of goodbyes.

i keep your message open despite the indication that it has been weeks since we last talked. maybe one of these days you will find the energy to drop by and say hi, and maybe ask how i've been for the past few weeks that you have stopped talking to me.

@nic6tine KISS 😚

@ruwikawa i love you, my love.

happy 17th, my love! to more months with you and our little family. i love you so much! 💗💗💗

@nic6tine ang pogi mo na masyado hay bebe

@ruwikawa i’m glad that it’s obvious then.

masyadong obvious na crush mo q 😍

@nic6tine ihhhh ano ba ><

@ruwikawa hi, crush kita.

isang hi naman jan crush oh @nic6tine