Ryan Smolko

In North America, black bears are apex predators. Except that one time one met Chuck Norris. That bear is now a rug. RIP to the legend.

I'll always remember Chuck Norris as the man who changed the course of dodgeball history by casting the deciding vote that allowed Average Joes to play in the championship of the Las Vegas International Dodgeball Open where they upset the heavily favored Globo Gym Purple Cobras. RIP. 🙏

Sometimes the most impactful statement you can make is a strong resignation. It's unfortunate it's come down to this. God's speed @joekent16jan19 I hope this wakes some people up.

War with Iran is costing American taxpayers $1 billion dollars a day. Most American tax payers will never receive a Social Security check because it will be bankrupt by 2033. Most Americans can’t afford health insurance policies because they are so expensive. Most American families cannot financially survive on a single income, and both parents have to work like slaves in order to feed their children and keep a roof over their heads. But the Trump administration has decided that these American taxpayers have to spend $1 billion a day to murder people and their children in a foreign country that none of us have ever met and know nothing about. Incredible MAGA priorities.

Dow Jones, in its 130 year history has dropped a 1000 points or more 14 times. 12 out of those 14 times were under Donald Trump Presidency.

Trump said we had to attack Iran because we can‘t allow it “to have a nuclear weapon.” Really? This is the same president who, in June, said: “Iran’s nuclear facilities have been obliterated.” Vietnam. Iraq. Iran. Another lie. Another war.

@SenFettermanPA Voting for you was a mistake I won't make twice.

Every member in the U.S. Senate agrees we cannot allow Iran to acquire a nuclear weapon. I’m baffled why so many are unwilling to support the only action to achieve that. Empty sloganeering vs. commitment to global security — which is it?

Unfortunately we have just had a customer in to complain about the terrible landscaping job we have done on their garden (photo attached). Luckily we told them that the DOW was over 50,000 right now, so they left with their tail between their legs.

MAGA went from “teachers should be required to carry guns” to “carrying a gun makes you a criminal” in record time

The President of the United States flipping off an autoworker is a pretty good visual metaphor for this moment in history.

STATEMENT ON FORD PLANT VISIT FROM VP LAURA DICKERSON, FORD DEPARTMENT DIRECTOR The autoworker at the Dearborn Truck Plant is a proud member of a strong and fighting union —the UAW. He believes in freedom of speech, a principle we wholeheartedly embrace, and we stand with our membership in protecting their voice on the job. The UAW will ensure that our member receives the full protection of all negotiated contract language safeguarding his job and his rights as a union member. Workers should never be subjected to vulgar language or behavior by anyone—including the President of the United States.

@daniellloyd1 Listen to The Menzingers.

Need your help: I want some new music to listen to. To give you an idea, I like: First Aid Kit, Ren, James, Radiohead, ACDC, Nirvana, Curse of Lono, Karen O. Don't disappoint me, X.

Pete Hegseth says he’s going to court-martial me for saying the same exact thing he said 9 years ago. What changed for Pete? Well to start, he spends all day thinking about how he can suck up to Trump. When Trump says jump, he says how high.

Captain Jagermeister, here, isn’t aware of the mirror effect of a phone camera. Kind of makes you wonder about his ability to analyze actionable intelligence.

The Department of Government Efficiency (@DOGE) will now close its doors after successfully charging a grand total of ZERO PEOPLE with fraud or abuse, and leaving current government spending at an ALL TIME HIGH. What a colossal waste of everyone's time. MAGA is over.

Any man who calls a woman “piggy” is a fucking pig. Any man in a position of power who calls a woman “piggy” is a cowardly, misogynistic, weak, fucking pig.

@NickAdamsinUSA That is actually un American. Opposing views in a free democratic society is what our nation has been built upon. 🤦‍♂️

You are either with President Trump or you are against America.

ya’ll voted for 50 year mortgages instead of $25k towards a down payment on a home 🫵😂

@WhiteHouse Lol.

Making Thanksgiving Great Again 🦃🇺🇸