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yo pq literalmente no hay día que no esté deprimida o no me sienta fea

i’ve always had poor mental health but this is like smth that deeply bothers me every day, need to starve etc to feel better abt it somewhat and look less gendered physically if that makes sense, idk

i’m so confused abt my gender, for the last 2 years or so, i’ve felt so so extremely uncomfortable this way

idk how to explain it but i can literally feel the fat hanging on my body at all times and it disgusts me

i really wasted my teenage years being depressed and miserable lol

lowk a big drive for me to lose weight tbis time round is cos I acc can’t deal with having a womanly body, it acc bothers me so so deeply for the last year and a half and idk why

@whimsichal4life @elalaraaa wait fr? do u exercise to counter it back down to a low number?

@elalaraaa 2100kcal for 5 months already. Do not listen to anyone saying you need to eat less than 1200 kcal. You have to reverse diet back to maintance. So when I was losing weight I was eating 1400 and after reaching my goal (44kg I am 172cm) I started to add 100 calories per week

people with bmi 13-14 who are maintaining their weight what are yours maintenance calories and how long have you been maintaining??

I would just get high instead but I don’t have a d3aler rn

why does nic rush havw to be so fckn short

so annoying

i’m so tired all the time it’s pissing me off so bad, I sleep for a notmal amount of time and then i’m rlly tired again after like 5 hours of being awake

im stunted im doing shit i should have been doing when i was 16yo in my 20s

all I do is sleep, rhink abt how fat and ugky I am, want to cut, smoke to resist the urge, resist the urge to thrn burn myself with the cig and repeat, what’s the point

from isolation and not having much goinf on, it’s gen that I have no reason for living, idk wtf to do

gen how am I supposed to enjoy life, every time I feel miserable, I think ok let’s acc do smth for once and I hang out with a couple friends snd then by the end of the night, I realise I still feel as bad, sometimes even worse cos I realise it’s not all just in my head or just

fuck if I haven’t lost at least 30lb by june I might kms fr

when your life is just recovering and relapsing and recovering and relapsing and relapsing and relapsing and relapsing and relapsing and recovering and relapsing

thing I feel used to now, I don’t feel like I should stop doing those things, i’m so fucking ugly and disgusting and dissapointing so why should I stop doing those things? I deserve to go thru those things and I don’t know how to cope without doing them

and I don’t see how it’ll ever change, this shit is so fucking miserable and i’m so demotivated in everything, I find everything too exhausting cos I don’t even see the point in doing anything at all, I only see the point in being miserable and harming myself cos tbats tbe onlt

once you have experience with eating disorders and self harming, how the fuck are you ever supposed to move on from it, ever since I fell into that shit, it’s completely controlled me, I haven’t lived my life at all for the last 6 years bcos of poor mental health