sydney

it’s simple. i wake up. i listen to punisher by phoebe bridgers all the way through. i set myself up for a horrible day.

when the customer says “let me speak to manager” and the manager is a 26 year old girl with an over the garden wall tattoo and a fear of confrontation

@JamieLauren14 💕❣️💕❣️

:-) #NewProfilePic

@JamieLauren14 me but with televangelism - sun bleached flies - strangers

@blackirises_ … i was scared :/

@sadneydavis pls tell me you didn’t move

is this a common experience: you’re sitting in a cafe waiting for your drink and a man asks if you’re currently sitting at the table you’re very clearly sitting at and then you say “uh yeah?” and he says “i want to sit there”

government assigned jellycat... i too am bold, bright, and ready to wriggle ✨

@JamieLauren14 pov: lucifer is sitting on you and trying to cheer you up

the blessing of free audiobooks on spotify versus the curse of one single author being listed as your top listened to artist on spotify wrapped

i accidentally sprayed canola oil directly in my eye at work today. i hope i develop x-ray vision or something. i’ll keep y’all updated.

i love that my neighbors just keep their compost exposed to the elements in a big pile in our side yard for all the critters to munch on. i never know who i’m gonna see when i look out there. a family of raccoons? a squirrel eating a french fry? two rats fighting over a corn cob?

mom can you pick me up? my boyfriend left me alone in farm & fleet and i’m scared

@kaylahsaltz he also owns a restaurant but yes i think he would claim that being a landlord is a business

pov: you ask your landlord if he has time to come look at your broken washing machine this week

@adamlevinefan42 literally like use a fucking period if you’re gonna be writing a novel

@sadneydavis the amount of -‘s is enough to sue imo

is it normal to want to punch a hole through the wall every time you talk to your landlord or do i have unaddressed anger issues

i can’t watch the sandman because i know the goth guy with the pet raven will give me gender envy

@kaylahsaltz @DuganAmanda @emilielangjahr how did you know i needed outfit inspo