mia

A PATIENT SCREAMED AT ME AND SAID I'LL AMOUNT TO NOTHING AND END UP BEING A TOPLESS DANCER IN MONTREAL

me to everyone at least one time during every teams meeting: "I'm not going to offline this. What the hell are we doing"

Thanks for inviting me to your wedding. I'll be wearing one of 3 dresses I've had on rotation since high school

For survivor 50 they need to bring back the stew and root beer reward from survivor: palau

@resetaurus I just barfed

worst offenses were the newsboy hat he wore and also telling me with 100% confidence i would love vancouver and want to move there. and i said no i would most certainly not!

6 MENS USA HOCKEY PLAYERS FROM MICHIGAN

MICHIGAN JUST WON AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL IN MENS HOCKEY

USA - Canada hockey gold medal game should have done a zamboni gravy boat promotion. Lost opportunity

The bermuda triangle of detroit, mi + toledo, oh + windsor, ontario is literally the funniest place on earth and i will die on this hill

@resetaurus Literally me in Idaho. I thought I was gonna die

michigan being like 80% shoreline gives me so much psychological safety. i can’t imagine being in a landlocked state. my mental health actually went so sideways the only time i lived somewhere more an hour away from a large body of water

I'm getting too old for late night anxiety like fucking cut it out

Aliens (completely bewildered): so the groundhog Me: is clairvoyant, yes

The way you wanna have a Krabby patty from SpongeBob is the same way I wanna have a dharma initiative branded beer from LOST

Bún tôm thịt nướng is the only way to end 2025 ya feel

FB Marketplace in Detroit is so good

Preferred food groups are soup, sandwich, and snapple

Life since zoboomafoo's death: BAD

Lions are cursed fr

The person who came up with the zamboni gravy boat idea should receive a pension

For cart situation alone

Don't veer for deer szn