spooky

@rnelanchony notifs arent as much an issue, id consider losing those a loss. it is moreso the hopes of a notif, and in turn, constantly opening the app to confirm the lack of one, checking so much comes from bad thoughts, i should be checking far less

@saltlThoughts why not mute your notifications?

maybe i should sign out of discord on my phone. sometimes its nice, and sometimes i do speak to people, which is also nice, but nice in a "its actually bad for me" sort of way. the memes are meh so im not exactly losing much on that.

as much as id like to claim so, im not good enough at emotional self control to prevent myself from thinking about it, which is the root of the issue. removing discord is the nuclear option but perhaps the only effective one.

i check my mobile discord multiple times per hour to see if i got messages or something, given my situation that is *bad*. as much as id like to claim, im not good enough at my self control to prevent me from thinking about that, removing discord may be nuclear option

this was *not* an overestimate, i will be sitting here for 6 hours.

nonetheless, i need to find somerhing better to stare at on my phone all day, my following page is good, the algorithm certainly isnt though.

ill likely briefly try to sustain myself with memes off of discord, but that runs dry fast.. perhaps ill talk with my co-workers, yeah. no. im probably overestimating my standby time a little.

schedules from 8am to 11pm tomorrow, i have the easiest job, the one with the most standby time, im probably going to be sitting around doing nothing most of that time... that means, full day of standing around rotting my brain with twitter.

@miynanaa happy birthday

Happy birthday to me

@rnelanchony id be happy to play sometime, admittedly may be a little difficult to decide when such a sometime is,,

@saltlThoughts if you want i can play dungeons with you sometimes, i’m like level 55 on free trial and on american server as well. also you’re not boring to play with at all i had fun when we hunted bears in minecraft

ff14 free trial expanded, extra motive to continue through the story. cant bring myself to queue to play dungeons though, in the past i played a little bit with a friend and that had made it easier, but after passage of time i must figure out how to bring myself to on my own..

and thus, i am stuck, unable to bring myself to press the button to play with real people nor the button to play with bots....

it feels very wasteful.. to play through the game with the less fun bots, but considering that comes from a rather selfish perspective. and leveling up and playing as other classes is probably also fun, and for that i would probably eventually want to bring myself to do roulettes

blessed with half an hour of work today, hopefully enough to allow me to sleep and timeskip. might actually stay up a little to play minecraft and an idle game too though. might get dmed too though, probably not.

i think i had a thought worth having today, but i forgot what it was.

not like im doing anything tomorrow either though. when it comes to the feeling of waste i can just ask myself, "waste what?" and that eliminates all of my worries. and sleep ends up the convenient answer yet again.

on one hand i feel like i miss so much when i sleep, a waste, on the other hand, its so nice, there exists no better way to pass the time.. go to sleep now and tomorrow will already be here.