sam

My neighbor John Turturro

Cold Brew Comedy 8PM tonight⁩ @ the Native Hostel in downtown ATX. Come laugh! eventbrite.com/e/idlewild-cof…

California is the new LA

Is there such a thing as TOO much alkaline in ur water??

Anyone else grow up calling it lord of the rings “and the Twin Towers”?

wish there was a pill that’d help me last longer on stage.

I like my reminders like my giants; big AND friendly.

Are women still oppressed? Cause I’ve never seen a flesh-light you can keep out on the nightstand when grammy’s over.

Trying to make a difference, any difference.

@Spotify officials have yet to formally respond to this statement or the numerous emails he’s sent them about setting up a sort of payment plan. More to follow.

BREAKING: Comedian podcaster, artist-lover, Sam Castillo, announces plan to leave Spotify following Neil Young’s protest of Joe Rogan unless they discount his premium subscription plan or some sort of a swag bag could work too

@SawyerStull how bout committing to a relationship as a bit??sure the pain is unimaginable but the material?pure gold bro

I can’t commit to a relationship but I surely can commit to a bit.

praying that all my friends have enough drip to make it through this freeze

to late to learn to code?

what if the real microchip was in our hearts all along?

fellas, don’t be THAT guy 🙄 👎🏻 be THIS guy 🤙🏻😎🖕🏻

my therapist just told me to get up offa that thing and shake it til I feel better?

telling all my couple friends they should start podcasts so I can have cool single friends again.

Hey, Rob and I are hitting up Thrive Comedy Hour @ 8 and you should come too! Free, fun, sun (nope, it’ll have set by then,) but there’ll be booze and big, big laughs! Bigger if you’re there, you have such a nice laugh. Please come.

from now.

short kings, you have 24 hours

b*g height did 9’11.