as in dangerous

I haven’t tweeted in over a year bc I found myself on Threads but someone on Grindr recently told me that they read my tweets and I was “funny assl” 🥹

@THINGEO What’s his @ lmaoooo

What a night twitter.com/DeJan80391178/…

@lon_peralta Omg nooooooooooooooooo

Netflix first, now Hulu? I've been helping my family for years and now they have to source themselves.

@fitnessgayz When TV show dads look more like your peers than the protagonists do. 😭

People who are into daddies, at what point do you start dating your age?

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary Sheesh.

The DJ: “How’s everyone doing?” The crowd: “Wooooo!”

@lon_peralta Omg that's not common knowledge but it's true lmao

@sangerous Everyone knows you suck harder than a vacuum

Someone told me they wanted a Dyson model at a specific price. We didn’t have it. But the heavens opened and the opportunity came next day. We negotiated with our vendor, with this customer’s price in mind. The offer went to him first at the price he wanted.

@haejee *checks time stamps to make sure it wasn’t when you were with me* 💀

New goodbye phrase: “Smooches to your gooches” 😛

Lmao @haejee I’m sure you can woo a man like this

Help. My Uber driver/his car smells like ball-sweat and even though the windows are open, I’ve already gagged a couple times. 🤢

Lmao. I’m gagged. I just found out my neighbor is connected to my Alexa from when he was at one of my parties and so now whenever my music is too loud and I happen to be looking at my phone, I see that the volume is turned down, but it’s not even me pressing it. 😮

Indian guy told me that I’m not Asian. Wut lol

@haejee @lilautumnvertt @MyHandsRatedE Lmao stfu thank you tho

Faceless profile on #Grindr: “Hey” Me: “Face pic?” FpoG: “Suck my dick.” Me: “Literally or figuratively? Bc I asked for a face pic” And then he blocked me lmao

@conzo0311 @ConservativeKTM 👏🏽 giving the gays what we want 👏🏽

@ConservativeKTM I’m posting it because I’m a silly little guy, I am posting it for my other silly little guys, and I am expecting to get fisted at some point

Entering my Plant Daddy Era with this Monst Era

@benyahr Hi. I’m available. 😏

Lmao I’m giggling bc I can’t believe this line (although I’d say it was low hanging fruit) actually worked. He’s cute. Wish me luck! #DatingInMy30s