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This is bittersweet to write and feels a bit surreal, but I have decided to retire from professional play.
I'll never forget my first year in the LCS at Worlds when Dyrus decided to retire and announce it publicly on stage after we were knocked out. His decision shocked me because I saw him as one of the legends of League, and in my mind, I thought he would play for an eternity. Honestly, I don't think I really understood how he felt in that moment until now.
In my mind, I never really knew when I would retire, and at times, it felt like the answer was never. I wasn't sure how it would feel, but now I do.
I can't even begin to describe how lucky and fortunate I've been to be able to do what I love for a living. Being able to completely focus on one goal and do any and everything to achieve that goal is an incredible thing, especially with a team that is on the same page as you.
As a kid growing up, all I wanted to achieve once I got into gaming was to compete professionally. It was everything I dreamt of, nothing more, nothing less. I didn't even think about all the amazing people I would meet if I reached that goal, how many successes and struggles I may go through, all the incredible experiences, traveling around the world and, do what I do best, play video games.
But at the same time, you're also missing out on a lot of other things in life. I've spent the last 9 years away from my family, 8 years long distance away from my fiancé Kelsie and lost the opportunity to attend my grandfather's funeral.
I've hit a point in my life where I've started to value family and friendships a lot higher and I feel like I won't be able to perform to my absolute best without leaving those things behind, which I just can't do anymore.
I'm very happy with how my career turned out. Not only because I was able to win a couple of different tournaments and titles, which obviously I'm proud of, but because I was able to overcome a lot of hurdles in my life and in my career.
At times, it felt like I was at rock bottom and that there was no way out. Losing 5 relegation tournaments while winning 0 and feeling like maybe I just wasn't good enough. At times I had to battle health issues that were so severe that I thought I may never be able to compete again, but I got through it(with a lot of help of course - big thank you to Team Liquid and especially Bowen, I'll forever be grateful).
There are so many ways to describe success and while you're in the bubble of competition, it feels like winning is the only real 'success', but I've come to the realization that there's so much more to it.
Being able to get through all this is something that I can cherish so much more now. Knowing I'm a fighter and feeling like no matter what happens in my life, I'll get through it. And on the other side of the coin, I'm also just a super lucky guy. While focusing strictly on becoming the best professional version of myself, I still had a loving and supportive family and a fiancé that somehow stuck by my side while I barely had any time for her during the season.
This is something that means the world to me, and I can't wait to be able to finally spend a lot of time with them.
I've loved competing at the top level, and I'll always hold these memories very close to my heart. I'll for sure miss playing pro, but the future with the people I love has now become my main focus, and I couldn't be more excited for the next chapter of my life.
I hope you will all join me as I transition into streaming full time.
Thanks to all my former teammates and organizations for supporting me through this journey and allowing me to accomplish everything I did. And the biggest shoutout to all my fans who stuck with me through thick and thin, and I hope to see you on my streams again in the near future!
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