Rick Anne Morty

thread of my favorite tweets

I’m going to laugh, travel, experience, love… I’m not going to let my highly contagious and deadly virus define who I am.

As a child I questioned everything that didn't make sense to me. That's why patriarchy and religion just never had a strong hold. You're supposed to be the one cooking, why. You will get sent to hell, why. In your husband's house, why.

what does this mean

People don't like watching movies with me because when the bad guys get one over on the good guys for even a moment I become withdrawn and morose, and stop taking food and water for days

being annoying as fuck in the roommate gc rn

meg to peg like its a natural progression when it's not. even margaret to meg is barely plausible

even theodore? 😧

If you press the right buttons on your phone the Hairspray soundtrack comes on

I need everyone to check out this link ASAP this is one of the funniest fucking things I've ever read tinyurl.com/join-polycule

"The Boys are Back in Town" is meant to sound celebratory. But to those of us like myself who considered the boys our friends, it can hurt hearing it second-hand, like I'm the last one to find out

My bad, I thought you said 2 Brilliant dollars. No i dont have that much

no

a beautiful woman named beep is trying to contact me through my carbon monoxide alarm

replying with this picture when someone posts “he is risen”

if I was a baby i would pop out weighing 40 pounds, sing one perfect note, and pass away instantly

The key word here is public. Those of us close to the Olaf animatronic have been seeing these troubling episodes behind closed doors for years

Door dashing a chicken patty sandwich from a middle school

damn i just realized 9-to-5 means 9 days a day 5 weeks a day a week 9 to days a 5 week a hours 9 days

Possible Mandela effect? Now it’s called Chick-fil-a but do you remember it being called Peemy-weemy ?

what are your intentions with my coworker