Smambiddy

I woke up this morning and my phone was next to my bed in a bowl of soup

SUPER BOWL BOUND!!!!!!!!

Arugula is the best adult discovery I’ve made thus far

@nancydrewluvr This is a great take

FINAL: Boston 12, Yankees 1.

I’m employed what does unc mean

So is he

@RedSox Suck a fat one

@GillettePaige THANK YOU.

@sbiedss Hey Sam, happy half birthday.

Can’t believe no one has wished me a happy half birthday yet. Ridiculous

Going to the pop tart bowl next year just to feel something

Controversial: The “drop of orange juice in a mimosa” joke is so heinously unfunny

Took a multivitamin during my debilitating hangover today

Salute our soldiers today (blacked out last night and ran the turkey trot this morning)

This did happen btw

What if we got kicked out of the bar because I didn’t have a Covid 19 vaccine card

@freakhighway Makes you think…

Sometimes all you need is ten Sangrias

Huge congrats to the Red Sox west on winning the World Series!

HIT THE MUSIC