Midori-Ryuu

Enjoying freedom

who the hell is watching mii porn

As some have predicted, trying to repress my AGP has not worked, even with the Catholicism. It has been a constant struggle. I'm tired of battling my own desires. I want to go back to integration and crossdressing. I don't know how to square this with my faith. But I don't care anymore. Repression doesn't work. It just led to endless binge/purge cycles. I gave repression my absolute best shot. But I cannot do it anymore. AGP is a core part of me. There's obviously the sexual kinky side, which I enjoy, but there's also the side of me that just genuinely enjoys more "feminine" interests like women's fashion, makeup, beauty, skincare, etc., and wants to openly incorporate these interests into my life and how I present myself, whereas as a "conservative Catholic detrans man" those forms of expression were not available to me. I have no interest in re-transitioning via a gender identity or adopting new pronouns again or anything like that. I am firm in my knowledge of being a man. Been there done that. Neverthless, I see a future where I am free to crossdress to my heart's content and embrace my sexuality. I simply love women's clothing and fashion too much. My whole life I've loved women's clothes. I don't know why. Can't explain it. But a future deprived of that seems bleak to me. I know some of my more GC oriented followers are going to bristle at the thought of me once again bringing my fetish "out of the bedroom." But I don't really care what GCs think anymore. My once hardline GC position has somewhat softened, especially insofar as it concerns AGPs expressing themselves publicly. I don't really care if it's considered "shameful" or "perverted" by some. Moreover, I still believe in common sense. Haven't changed my mind on sports, child transition, basic reality, etc. But I feel like I am reverting back to a more "liberal" position of letting people express themselves so long as other people's rights are being protected, even if there is a degree of "ick" from male sexuality. And I've come to realize 99% of the philosophical debate around "are trans women women" is verbal dispute, like almost all philosophical debate over the meaning of words. It obviously has real-world implications that are important, but the philosophical debate itself doesn't interest me anymore. Nor do I feel myself aligned with GCs against trans as this all-encompassing civilization-ending boogeyman that sucks up all my time and energy. I've grown tired of the whole GC debate. Some will say this is now just obviously self-serving. But, again, I have stopped caring about what GCs think. Last, I want to address the accusation that I am a flip-flopping, flighty, unstable zealot who goes from one extreme thing to the next looking for an emotional crutch. Yeah, pretty much, lol. I got called out accurately. Everyone who predicted Catholicism was a temporary crutch to cope with my gender feelings can now feel vindicated. However, I do want to say that my faith beliefs were genuine. It was all genuine. It really was a struggle. It really was a beautiful journey. And I still consider myself Catholic. I still believe in God. Obviously, I don't know how to square my newfound liberal convictions with conservative Catholicism. But I will square that circle later (somehow, maybe).

Kiwi Farms went from "we mess with lolcows" to "we become lolcows ourselves." I understand the obsession with ChrisChan and other lolcows because there's something fundamentally wrong with them, hence the genuine curiosity. But right now Kiwi Farms is going after a random guy who doesn't look weird, doesn't talk weird, just an average boring weeb. In a sense, it's almost exactly like how 4chan went downhill and became diluted as the masses started joining in. This was supposed to be a quote retweet on one of Chibi Review's posts, but he deleted it while I was typing and I don't want to delete this, so ehh.

a feminine guy in anime can turn directly to the camera and say "I'm a guy" without blinking or pausing, and people will still say he's not actually a guy