Rachel

Telling people Lyme disease left me wheelchair-bound when I’m actually just recovering from leg lengthening surgery

My grandfather trained Dr Miami in the art of plastic surgery. I grew up around the needle. I became the youngest registered aesthetic nurse in the state of Florida at the age of 14. Trust me on this one fam 💯

Thanking God today that my nephew Miles is with us for Easter today. His wound is still oozing blood but he’s alive & we’re thankful. The knifemen who stabbed him are still roaming around London. Perhaps around your loved ones. Happy Easter xx

Living in Miami is giving Clavicular lip filler blindness

Pretty sure I saw Tom from Succession walking out of Wallace Shawn's play last night...

@sludgethoughts Time to go back to bed

Ryan Coogler should direct the next moon landing footage

The Meeker Ave Plume is making you aggressive

@swdyw1 :(

@Nerdspringbreak All the kids I knew who smoked pot with their parents are either dead, got someone pregnant in high school, or their mom banged one of their friends

Oh fuck no, I could barely handle being stoned around them, and I'll never smoke pot with my kids either, it's too fucking weird and far out. All the kids I knew who smoked with their parents turned out fucked up!

I’m sorry for what I said when I was under the influence of the Meeker Ave Plume

Been taking a new route on my walks in hopes of seeing the guy who sticks his penis out his window and jerks off

Pilates instructor asked everyone about their celeb crush, but all I could think about was the spider I saw on my reformer, so I said “A spider…” and she goes “The Spider?” So I blurted out “No. Channing Tatum.”

@sludgethoughts I’m scared for us

@RoxyTall A puzzle feeder helped me in this situation. This one is what I used but I bet others could be as effective chewy.com/catit-senses-2…

I’ve speculated that maybe he wants another cat for company but it would be a bit of an imposition and not even a guarantee that it’ll stop this behaviour. I don’t know what else to try and I am losing it, barely functioning off like 4h sleep every day.

Okay so this cat that is mine now: every morning between the hours of 4-7am he starts meowing loudly and making a massive racket. Banging and clawing on doors, windows, walls, anything that makes noise. His voice is soooo loud, it’s starting to feel like pain in my ears-

Whenever I go to the movies, I’m just happy to be there.

Keep ya eyes on da fckn road pal

@swdyw1 Me too…

I wonder if Clavicular and Wes Watson are in the same jail

Thought too hard about the Rotting Christ graphics and started to get scared