When you stop talking like a normal person and put on the lizard mask of respectability, you're doomed to that act forever. Always looking over your shoulder for the internet stasi.
English
SPIDER-MAN'S LANDLORD
3.9K posts
SPIDER-MAN'S LANDLORD
@selfdfens
We're a band. I'm just tweeting as Mr. Ditkovich until we've got a new record to promote.
ÜT: 42.670434,-73.7862 Katılım Şubat 2009
2 Takip Edilen9.3K Takipçiler
@selfdfens hey man, can we get that SWAT tour finally?
English
I see people on this app acting like there's something they can say to keep me outta the Whole Foods hot bar. "I saw a homeless person use his hand once" who cares. Unleash pestilence via rats, I don't give a shit. I need greens and I'll do ANYTHING not to make food at home.
English
What constitutes a threat on this website?
The Money Buddy@The_Money_Buddy
A guy I know is 35. He has: • $150k in his 401k • $40k in savings • No other investments He’s wondering if he’s behind. What would you tell him?
English
Social media has bifurcated humanity into servile worms and Jokerized suicide bombers. Normal people now exist on the outskirts, living off the refuse of a collapsed world.
English
SPIDER-MAN'S LANDLORD retweetledi
@axetogrindcast Pat people get tummy tucks and it pulls the skin down covering where the button was
English
For what it's worth, the stormwater retention pond in that photo is a mosquito nightmare in summer.
New York Post@nypost
The parents of one of the alleged ISIS-loving teens who tried to detonate an IED near Gracie Mansion own a gorgeous, $2.25 million home — as his alleged co-conspirator was seen flashing an ISIS salute while being led off in shackles trib.al/VXxB9Ql
English
Today I learned there was a craze for a brand called Allbirds.
Romy@Romy_Holland
i worked as the personal assistant for a billionaire at the height of the allbirds craze and one day he handed me 2 pairs of allbirds and said “i ordered these and they don’t fit. can you take them?” i was like “yep i’ll go return them” and he was like “no…what if you just…took them away so they weren’t in my house anymore and i didn’t have to think about them.”
English
ballet is gross
anything that causes you to lose toenails is gross
you understand this instinctually and completely
English
If I was an alien watching human affairs from a spaceship, I'd find it funny that we're not just willing to believe the worst things about each other but actually excited to. But because I live here I'm horrified.
English
SPIDER-MAN'S LANDLORD retweetledi
Do you think I care about being canceled? This world killed Jesus why would they like me???? This worlds wisdom is foolishness to God
English
Can be said for most professional musicians. Also, most professional DoorDash drivers.
by the bluest of seas@eurekafog
@selfdfens i remain utterly baffled by how "harrowing" some people think it is. yeah yeah he drinks a lot and kinda wants to die. that's so many people!
English
SPIDER-MAN'S LANDLORD retweetledi
@selfdfens I’m shocked and scandalized that practitioners of an essentially ephemeral art form with dogshit ROI eventually become bitter and dysfunctional, even if they didn’t start out that way. /s
English
I'm not clicking the link. But if the pearl clutching about that American Football interview is because a professional musician is an alcoholic with a bad home life, the indoor kids have won.
English
It's WWIII. My superlative understanding of digital fire control systems and advanced communications suites lands me in a tank battalion. I meet my crew. These are to be my brothers. Shia LaBouf and Billy Corgan.
English
Just saw someone get likes off the failed tweet premise that Scary Movie 3 is superior to Scary Movie 2. Get the fuck outta here. Just get the fuck out. That's blue checkmark shit right there. Ragebait nobody believes. Join the army and deploy now. Begone. Out.
English
My feed today is "Iran might be beating the US idrk" and "Cripmac fights DeenBean for Lena the Plug" and "Tourette's streamer JosieBlarg develops new tick" and this:
TMZ@TMZ
Selena Gomez doesn’t seem to mind Benny Blanco’s dirty feet because during her appearance on her husband Benny’s podcast, she kissed and snuggled them. 😵💫
English
Imagine being a Dubai prostitute and going to Twitter for news as rockets are hitting around you and all you see is divorced guys in the US posting, "so funny that dubai hookers are getting bombed."
English