I talk to my husband like this. When she’s over I usually grab him by the hair and yell in his ear. #DomesticAbuseIsNotRealBetweenUs
Agita Christie@pagan_hoetry
If I take too long to respond to my friend Ryan he starts texting me like this
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If I take too long to respond to my friend Ryan he starts texting me like this
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useless fucking alarm i woke up before you. you mean Nothing to me
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How I’m gonna be on the phone with my gf and they start talking about some “I want a strawberry shortcake with taki dust and macaroni on it.” Bitch are you pregnant what is that
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@tujyuu @sunglasses382 @femjabber @mentalmondai @sp2inkle @sashavore_ @jabberkisser @n1k_Shealtiel @kuuluff @peppvrq @moon000e @suguren_ @Iesboya @butcthoni @Ppunyaima @nerdestnerdever @kittylitter143 Mai. Move. Get out of here. You do not belong here. Why are you here. Swagger are you homewrecking me?
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they played skrillex at my cousins funeral and lowered the casket right as the bass drop hit
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i dont yield to pedestrians i hit them and if my bumper doesnt go clear thru their jaw i kill myself
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My parrot just said my full legal name and flew out my window
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My gf gon be on my phone saying “baby please” only to then ask me to watch a Tung Tung Sahur tiktok. Nigga huh?
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I’m dating the person who got a hit tweet from calling me a pigeon.
*LESBONADE@tujyuu
This nigga a fucking PIGEON you do not need that Much Bread.
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I’ve never hated anyone in my life x
Liàn@selvetion
Wife just told me they’re loving. What a lie.
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@selvetion I don’t want you to be me I want you to be easy there’s a difference.
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