Señor Winces

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Señor Winces

Señor Winces

@senorwinces

My life coach advised me to run out the clock.

Brooklyn Katılım Nisan 2010
1.4K Takip Edilen7.7K Takipçiler
Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
Turned down some guaranteed sex tonight. That was a subtle masturbation joke.
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
@EddieAlfano I was hoping it would be the last tweet ever and I could sell an nft of it for some cryptocurrency.
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
And for my next act, watch me crash a SpaceX rocket into a Tesla.
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
Note to self - Save time by whacking off in the confessional booth
Vatican City 🇻🇦 English
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
My friends keep arguing for a trip to Amsterdam. I keep arguing that we can just as easily get weed and hookers right here in Brooklyn.
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
Ever get unfollowed by someone you couldn't wait to unfollow back?
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
Local grocery store shelves are bare. Prepared to kill and eat my neighbors if need be. Looking at you, Stephanie.#blizzardof2015
Roachester, OH 🇺🇸 English
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
t's funny how as a kid you can't wait to be an adult and as an adult you can't wait for the sweet release that death will bring.
Downer, NJ 🇺🇸 English
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
."Sorry I haven't been tweeting much lately" is a the most unnecessary apology ever.
Truth or Consequences, NM 🇺🇸 English
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
Great. Now all the hipsters in Williamsburg get to brag about how they got Ebola before everyone else.
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
My only problem with Boardwalk Empire is the prosthetic teeth they stuck into the actors playing young Nucky.
Atlantic City, NJ 🇺🇸 English
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
Deleted Instagram. It's just easier to look down at my cat or up at the sky.
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
Told my neighbor to get back on the horse after he failed at quitting heroin.
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
I'm old enough to remember when people paid for U2 albums instead of googling how to delete them off the new iPhone.
Ireland 🇮🇪 English
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
To be fair, 95% of NFL players don't beat their loved ones unmercifully.
Wild Rice, MN 🇺🇸 English
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
No one looked good in the 70's except for Farrah Fawcett in that one poster.
Wankendorf, Deutschland 🇩🇪 English
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
"My band used to open up for Rage Against the Machine but I don't think they liked us". "Really, what's your band's name?" "The Machine"
Twist, AR 🇺🇸 English
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Señor Winces
Señor Winces@senorwinces·
My Better Than Ezra cover band is better than Better Than Ezra.
Twist, AR 🇺🇸 English
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