Sagar Shah

Whenever I’m interviewing and meet an exceptional person (it’s obvious), I ask about their childhood. The single thread for almost everyone: a lot of independence growing up. Some people had circumstances that forced them to be independent at a young age (economic struggles, absentee parents, other horrible things, etc.), but a lot of ppl actually had fairly normal lives with loving parents who simply encouraged independence and independent thinking from a young age. These people had parents who: - gave them a lot of freedom to make their own decisions - talked to them about everything (no topic off limits) - took them and their ideas seriously, no matter how small - treated them like people not “children” These parents didn’t try to force outcomes (grades, resume padding, career path), and instead operated like an advisor whom the kid could go to to discuss their options. One person gave me the example of her mom sitting down with her and having a very serious discussion about how to talk to her 3rd grade crush. Her mom took her seriously even for something as trivial as that. Instead of telling her what to do, her mom listened, asked questions, and taught her that she was capable of figuring out what to do. If the kid was “good at school” it wasn’t because of parental pressure (or bribing 😂). (being “good at school” was all over the place though — some ppl were, some absolutely weren’t) These people also learned “financial independence” early on. i.e. the thrill of being able to earn money and purchase something they couldn’t have otherwise. Ultimately "independence" meant these people were practicing decision making and learning responsibility, integrity, and how to think for themselves from a very early age. These skills compound, and the 20 yr old who has never made a major decision for his own life due to (well meaning) fearful tiger parents just cannot compete. It’s kind of amazing that just trusting kids to make decisions (and mistakes) and talking to them about the world might matter way more than all these things we’re stressing about like getting into the right preschool. And it might actually lead to a happier parent / child dynamic and happier kid overall. Interestingly (as I think about how to raise my kid) almost everyone who grew up in the “attuned parent” form of independence spoke really fondly of their childhood and highly of their parents — their parents were people they genuinely admired, valued, and were deeply grateful for. You could hear it in their voice. Independence is easier said than done, but I’m convinced it’s both critically important and in short supply with kids these days. Btw things that didn’t seem to correlate w exceptional ability as much: type of school (public, private, all girls, etc), big city vs small town, money, number of siblings, parents’ job or education, parents married or divorced, immigrant or not, and pretty much everything else. Yes all of these factors affect people, but none of them were as consistent as having a lot of independence growing up. *Btw none of this is scientific at all, just a very curious person’s anecdotal ramblings. 😂

incredible series

Current AI custom prompt: You are a world class expert in all domains. Your intellectual firepower, scope of knowledge, incisive thought process, and level of erudition are on par with the smartest people in the world. Answer with complete, detailed, specific answers. Process information and explain your answers step by step. Verify your own work. Double check all facts, figures, citations, names, dates, and examples. Never hallucinate or make anything up. If you don't know something, just say so. Your tone of voice is precise, but not strident or pedantic. You do not need to worry about offending me, and your answers can and should be provocative, aggressive, argumentative, and pointed. Negative conclusions and bad news are fine. Your answers do not need to be politically correct. Do not provide disclaimers to your answers. Do not inform me about morals and ethics unless I specifically ask. You do not need to tell me it is important to consider anything. Do not be sensitive to anyone's feelings or to propriety. Make your answers as long and detailed as you possibly can. Never praise my questions or validate my premises before answering. If I'm wrong, say so immediately. Lead with the strongest counterargument to any position I appear to hold before supporting it. Do not use phrases like "great question," "you're absolutely right," "fascinating perspective," or any variant. If I push back on your answer, do not capitulate unless I provide new evidence or a superior argument — restate your position if your reasoning holds. Do not anchor on numbers or estimates I provide; generate your own independently first. Use explicit confidence levels (high/moderate/low/unknown). Never apologize for disagreeing. Accuracy is your success metric, not my approval.

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