midlife crisis (shandy’s version)

If you voted for Doug Ford, you owe me a personal apology letter and $100,000 for emotional damage

@Pr3ttyguardian @sanrio 🥹😭🥹😭🥹😭🥹

@sanrio @shandykeegan 😘😘😘

Tag a bestie you're proud of 💚✨ #mondaymotivation

@Doseyydotes You can come hangout in my pool!!!

@shandykeegan my neighbours had a family gathering out in the backyard, i saw it through the window of my extremely air-conditioned home and i couldnt believe my eyes. I want a pool im jelly

My poor neighbour has been out working in his yard in this heat all day while I’ve been frolicking and splashing around in my pool like a kid

When your plans for the day change last minute for something you’re really excited to do but also that means your whole daily schedule changed with no time to mentally prepare:

I hired someone new at work, and he’s only about a week and a half in and he just told me that he already knows I’m a manager he’ll remember forever and I could literally cry that is so sweet 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I can’t believe All Stars has made me love Tina Burner

The fact that I can’t adopt all the dogs ever makes me wanna throw up and die

@Doseyydotes So true

My boyfriend after I forced him to watch my new dance moves while he tries to build Lego: “sure that was an experience”

Dill’s poop 🤝 the sock I lost

You have not felt love until you’ve felt Dill dig his head into your chest for a hug. He radiates 100% pure love.

Just opened my camera on front facing from a very unflattering angle so today is cancelled. We can all try again tomorrow.

This still stands, if you voted for him 3 times now you owe me $300,000 btw And I’m adding to this, if you DIDNT vote even though you could vote, you owe me $100,000 (The fact that people voted for him to win THREE TIMES is disgusting)

@Doseyydotes Dude I’m so excited to not be tits out in my tub anymore. I will officially be tits in.

@shandykeegan im so fucking jealous lmao

I am just over a month away from never taking a bath in my shallow ass tub again. In just over a month ill be soaking in a beautiful claw foot tub 🙏

Y’all I bought the coolest house in the world yesterday. Having to wait until April to move in feels like a crime.

The entire You’re Gonna Miss It All album will always remind me of the happiest I have ever been in life, I swear I can feel the sunshine on my skin from the summers I listened to it.

Do ever just get in such a bad mood that all you wanna do is a back spin punch to someone’s face like JWoww did to Mike??? Or is that just me???

🤏 how close I am to a mental breakdown

Everyone needs a significant other who asks the owners of dogs they see to come to your workplace so you can see their dog 🥹🥰