Shawn Andrews

In case anyone asks, tell them I’ve been an Inter Miami fan for years. I haven’t been, but I will have been. #InterMiamiCF

@WJSturm When do we start?

Thank you @ChickfilA for getting rid of large shakes as an option. You were the temperance I didn’t know I needed.

@hint lemon cayenne ever coming back?

@jandrewsatbbc TL;DR means too long; didn’t read. It’s something people write when they didn’t actually read an article, but somehow feel justified in commenting.

@shawnandroos See here’s the thing son...I have no idea what you just said!

The Millenial's Exhaustive New Testament Commentary: "TL;DR. But God probs just want you to be happy. Not judging=goals."

Having a bonfire tonight. It’s gonna be lit.

I don’t know what you’re whining about. A little pain never hurt anyone.

"What this means is not that America has become 'post-Christian' but rather that society is now in a 'post-pretend-Christian' state." ift.tt/2IVSbK6

Pretty sure the opening ceremony is an episode of Floop's Fooglies. #WorldCupRussia2018 #spykids

What the cable provider said: Would you like to add a tv package to your internet? What I heard: Would you like to pay three times as much as all your internet tv subscriptions combined for the privilege of having to endure commercials and waiting a week to see another episode?

“Trust me, I worked at Home Depot.” -Hugh Jackman #thegreatestshow

@GetAustinRhodes Your fans are obtuse. Obtuse is > 90°. Humans average 98.6° Therefore, we are obtuse. I can live with that.

@DaveRamsey What is the title insurance you mentioned on that last call?

@anandrews18 You'd better hurry back. I'm getting better at making food that isn't boiled eggs. This… instagram.com/p/qvHnWhBJAa/

Dietrich-or-treat Bonhoeffer #AddAWordRuinATheologian

Poly-gamy-carp #AddAWordRuinATheologian

A.W. Don't Tozer Me, Bro. #AddAWordRuinATheologian

Peter "the rock" Johnson #AddAWordRuinATheologian

Jerry Springer Falwell #AddAWordRuinATheologian