Shelby Lusk

I am a fucking catch.

I am this 👌🏻 close to losing it and becoming feral.

The pet pages I follow on FB really get me in tears. **~unfollows to stay emotionally unattached to the world~**

It’s been 9 months since my last tweet. Fortunately, I haven’t reproduced. Nothing else to report. 🫡

I forgot twitter existed until I watched the most hated man on the internet

I made ONE joke about being preggo and my phone has decided I need 492,282 pregnancy ads a day.

Not the homeless guy’s dog and my dog bonding.

Everything, and I mean ~everything~ is funny to me after I’ve been drinking. Idgaf if you don’t feel the same.

My great aunt is on Facebook now and her comments/posts are worse than any boomer meme you could imagine.

You ever wonder if cameras and mirrors are lying ass bitches and you’ll never know how you really look to others? ...yeah me either 🧐

Take a moment to apologize to your body for your brain’s bullshit.

*buys things to feel better* Bank account: 😟

My current apartment complex can’t even use proper grammar in their “daily news”

When my friends want advice about guys I always wonder; 1)Why ask me? - I’ve been single for years bc I make bad decisions. 2)What about my life makes you think I have it all together. Is it because I don’t deal with bullshit?

I am immediately attracted to any man who accepts my weird words and reciprocates in their own way. 11/10 for this guy.

I either get 2-3 hours of sleep or 13. There is no in between.

This dog got anxiety and, honestly, I deserve that. But my plants didn’t deserve to die.

I’m happy people think I’m training for these Spartan races but I really don’t. I’m not lying about Taco Bell.