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25.8K posts

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@shelleddiva

babygirl genius

none of your business!!! Katılım Haziran 2014

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☺︎@shelleddiva·1 May

in honor of it being the last day of autism month, i want to talk about a sentence that changed my life. “every day feels like a big day” sounds super vague, but in the context of autism, it puts words to a feeling that’s otherwise ineffable. that strange sense of anticipation.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·5h

@epballou it seemed that way bc i asked you the first time 7 hours ago and you had no problem responding to everything else i was saying.

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Emily Paige Ballou@epballou·5h

@shelleddiva I'm not "dodging," I was eating dinner, and I'm actually going to have to come back to this tomorrow.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·11 May

genuinely confused about the population of autistic people (or those who consider themselves as part of the online neurodivergent community) who are so afraid of the word deficit.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·5h

@epballou they have nearly identical definitions. disability is just wordier and more specific of a definition. deficit can be applied in broader contexts outside of disability. but disability & deficit essentially refer to & mean the same thing.

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Emily Paige Ballou@epballou·5h

@shelleddiva Deficit is not just another word for disability. They are different words for a reason. They're not unrelated, obviously, but there's a reason we have both.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·6h

@epballou i also genuinely want to understand your perspective on this beyond the general idea that deficit is a limiting term. what specific criteria is deemed an unnecessary deficit & what deficits aren’t already accounted for? that aren’t explained by comorbid conditions?

☺︎@shelleddiva

@epballou i’ve asked you multiple times to explain to me which criteria is incorrect or insufficient & what isn’t being reflected in it and you’ve dodged that at least 3 times now. that’s why i think you’re looking at this from an emotional lens. that’s my observation.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·6h

@epballou that’s how i view the anti-deficit sentiment as a whole, not just your specific justification. it’s mostly concerned with how autism is perceived despite it not really being a meaningful change at the diagnostic level. deficit is just another word for disability.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·10h

@epballou it’s not the criteria driving that it’s the general perception of autistic ppl being nuisances or problematic. if people could be more accepting it wouldn’t make the disorder any less disabling. people would just be kinder about it. what affects therapies is the conversion idea.

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Emily Paige Ballou@epballou·10h

@shelleddiva I agree about the first part. I disagree about the second. I think the criteria are feeding popular perceptions in ways that are absolutely affecting available therapies.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·10h

@epballou right and disability means a lack of ability, and the secondary non-economic definition of the word deficit is (per merriam webster) “a lack or inability.” so it’s synonymous with the word disability in context. that’s what i want yall to understand.

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Emily Paige Ballou@epballou·10h

@shelleddiva See, I actually think that precisely is a poor rationale for something to be considered inherently a deficit. But it is very likely to make something a disability. Which I have never, ever disputed that autism is.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·10h

@epballou the social deficits are the only deficits highlighted in the DSM. the rest are more nuanced characteristics regarding the proprioceptive, sensory, and perseverative traits.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·10h

@epballou i think the general perception of autism as a whole is, and not in the sense of deficits. rather the idea that autism needs to be solved or that we need to just act like allistic people. that doesn’t really require moving away from deficits, & it isn’t deficit-only as it is now.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·10h

@epballou but that’s because it’s a comparison between 97% and 3% of the population. there’s always the caveat of (in the context of allistic dominant social culture) but that’s a given. i don’t think it’s incorrect or harmful to word it that way if it’s always compared to the general pop.

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Emily Paige Ballou@epballou·11h

@shelleddiva But our characterization as having innate "deficits in social emotional reciprocity" *aren't* objective and neutral. That's a framing that's hugely reliant on non-autistic perception, and that's starting to collapse under the weight of emerging evidence.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·10h

@bennydrillwife yeah i could see why push ups might cause extra skin to react that way. but we also tend to be more aware or sensitive of those details than other people are. i know some people recommend chest exercises but idk how effective that is. there’s obv laser & plastic surgery but $$$.

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Benadryl Wife@bennydrillwife·11h

@shelleddiva I have one similar to this somewhere I dont fit in it anymore but I loved it I just hated that you could see th wrinkle/crinkle in my boob skin bc its like CHEWED UP BUBBLE GUM but it lifted/shaped better

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Benadryl Wife@bennydrillwife·15h

I wish I only had 20 followers rn to show yall what im seeing in the mirror rn like I deserve financial compensation for the rack that was bestowed upon me because aint no way this is what im stuck with forever

L@Crazyuncute

My tits too far apart for cleavage

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☺︎@shelleddiva·11h

@epballou well what do you think the push for anti-deficit is? it’s the whole disabled vs. differently abled bullshit. that is inherently a concern over optics & emotions more than being a meaningful difference.

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Emily Paige Ballou@epballou·11h

@shelleddiva Now you're engaging in accusations without evidence. "Concern about optics" is a weird way to say "this representation leads directly to misunderstanding of autism in ways that impact our lives for the worse."

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☺︎@shelleddiva·11h

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Emily Paige Ballou@epballou·11h

@shelleddiva But the issue here isn't my emotions. You brought that in. Whatever emotions I may have about it (which are mostly frustration) doesn't invalidate that I believe for well-considered, evidentiary reasons that the DSM-5 criteria are a bad description of autism.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·11h

@epballou they’d still be deficits & even in an accommodating world would be deficits. changing the *diagnostic* language for the sake of a morale boost is ridiculous.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·11h

@epballou i think you’re again letting emotion take over in this instance & it’s just not helping you to understand what i’m saying. you’re more fixated on my word choice than getting that your motivation and the general motivation against the deficit model is emotional & not meaningful.

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Emily Paige Ballou@epballou·11h

Okay, um...disagreeing with how something is written is not the same as "seeking emotional regulation" from it. Also you are allowed to have feelings about things you think are wrong and how they affect you. That is also not "seeking emotional regulation" from that thing.

☺︎@shelleddiva

@epballou the criteria is only a problem if you’re seeking emotional regulation from it. even if the neurobiology was considered it wouldn’t change the fact that the deficit model is still valid.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·11h

@bennydrillwife mind you i have D cups i just have a large band size & they’re very far apart + bottom heavy. only childrearing or a plastic surgeon is going to change what i have going on up there. but i highly recommend a balconette with wire at least and padding at best.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·11h

@bennydrillwife this is my only boob centric picture in a bra but this is a balconette. it’s a bottom-heavy bra which is better for bell shaped and east-west boobs. it’s unpadded but a padded push up balconette might give you more of what you want or boob tape even.

☺︎@shelleddiva

hello world i’m 13,672,500 minutes old

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☺︎@shelleddiva·11h

@bennydrillwife you need a balconette bra. a plunge won’t do anything for your shape if you want cleavage. i don’t even get a visible line between mine unless i force it with my hands.

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Benadryl Wife@bennydrillwife·11h

@shelleddiva same Asf but I mean in a BRA!!! lthey are in a long distance relationship

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☺︎@shelleddiva·11h

@bennydrillwife i can fit my entire hand between mine with some room left over i promise it could be worse

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Benadryl Wife@bennydrillwife·15h

its at least a 1-2 inch gap like theres no way

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☺︎@shelleddiva·12h

instead of mystifying these disorders why can’t we just acknowledge the ingenuity of our historical representatives. without neurodivergent people we wouldn’t have electricity or most modern marvels. that’s enough to be proud of. most of us are just normal and thats ok!!!

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☺︎@shelleddiva·12h

there’s also plenty of ways that people with ADHD or autism benefit from modernity. just not always socially or within the realm of productivity/capitalism. people with ADHD & autism are largely responsible for modernity & the inventions that got us here. we’re not demigods ffs.

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☺︎@shelleddiva·12h

a stupid person wrote this. “people with ADHD carry OG genetics” hmm “made them elite…in Ancestral times” … ok… “a ‘disorder’ in the modern world” …. so that just sounds like they’re reframing ADHD as a failure to evolve and somehow that’s a good thing?

No Nonsense Neurodivergent@NoNonsenseND

Thoughts?

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@epballou @bennydrillwife @elonmusk @BarackObama @taylorswift13 @cristiano @BillGates @NASA