Shitheadsteve

The DMV employee looking at me after I forgot to bring my 2nd grade report card

Her: “did you bring protection?” Me: yes

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Finally a job I’m qualified for

When your life is falling apart in ways you could never imagine and you start to appreciate the script

Hang in there fellas, only 333 days until Christmas

Me getting ready to unmute my mic at the end of a call to say “thanks everyone” so it seems like I contributed

They’re doing this me at work tomorrow

Imagine doing this over New Jersey

Bringing cigs to Friendsgiving this year

Look how jolly this man is. He can’t stop smiling. Dude just straight up loves Christmas

Me as a kid with the cool stick i found

They’re eating the Big Mac combos they’re eating the mchickens

Hang it in the louvre

Waitress: how’s everything? Me:

How to save money and have fun as an adult

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🙌