post mal-asch'lye

Maybe "see you next time" will be our always 🥲 @KwikTrip

@rachel_evelyn14 Calling BS seeing as how I'm your only friend and did nothing of the sort

A friend just made a “literary” reference but it was in reference to the short story I just published?!? Am I part of the zeitgeist now? Do I know how to use I use zeitgeist? Lot of things to ponder.

My short story “Riding a Bike in the Land of the Dead” is in this issue. Check it out!

me when Bob Odenkirk shows up in LITTLE WOMEN

@rachel_evelyn14 @mccue_cole you lose this round

@shledema Shawshank but with a hairdryer instead of a pick

At dinner and heard the table next to me go "all right, we gotta brainstorm this thing out" in re: the movie that would make the best on-ice adaptation. Frontrunners are currently Talladega Nights and Eyes Wide Shut

I've never gone into a store faster

gabezo

reading a series of unfortunate events as a little girl made me think i’d encounter a lot more anagrams than i have….nobody wants to rearrange words to conceal true names, sinister messages, and secret locations these days 🙄🙄🙄

Hear me out for LA we combine break dancing and dressage and each round is one person vs one horse

Guy inventing dressage: *so drunk* hey do you think we could get a horse to dance, via the ratatouille method Friend: what the hell does that mean Guy: we ratatouille the horse

They can sing, they can dance, after all, miss,

This is like the Arrested Development pilot.

No one: The whale in WHALEFALL by @DanielDKraus :

Jo: I’m going to be a famous writer Amy: I’m going to be an artist Meg: I’m going to be a wife Beth:

This weather is going to ruin the @NoahKahan tour.

@rachel_evelyn14 🤢

One day you’re young and interesting, and the next day you’re excited because your roommate bought vanilla coffee creamer (the best flavor).

Rugrats: