Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It!

Here it is!!! Our latest feature article in @AustinChronicle !! Featuring input from @shutupMurphy @dustinsvehlak @raminnazer & @HeliumComedy austinchronicle.com/arts/2022-07-2…

Folks what can I say I’m back

More like American’T! Who the hell is running this two-stick popsicle stand?!

Cockroaches are scary as hell ‘cause they can hear you. They combine my two greatest fears: Insects and being caught by the person you’re talking shit about.

Congrats to Sam Elliott for making @shutupMurphy's Power of the Dog take look way less problematic now podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/and…

@mikewiebe It’s interesting you say that because the best 2 movies I saw recently are Scream and Jackass and they both make me believe that movies can be really good while being One Thing the whole time. Auteur movies should be scarce that’s what makes them good. Not everyone is Kubrick.

@shutupMurphy Same with horror. Every monster doesn’t need to be a metaphor for grieving or alcoholism. Sometimes a fucker with big pointy teeth is just a fucker with big pointy teeth

Dear Mr. Hollywood please bring back the Comedy Film.

@excake I LOVE THE CINEMA

@shutupMurphy YESSSS ANDREWWW

Fun Snow Day activity - without giving it too much thought, list my favorite 5 movies (no particular order): 1. The Shining 2. Silence of the Lambs 3. The Witch 4. Alien 5. Aliens

If the Texas freeze prevents me from seeing Jackass tomorrow night I am suing the state for war crimes. Yeah, AGAIN.

Sometimes you don’t even have to watch something know it’s totally Epic sauce. Which is why I’m choosing to skip this one.

@enagurney I humbly submit The Cheat into consideration. He makes lil meow-like noises and does strongbad’s bidding.

Watching one of my favorites tonight, IYKYK.

If woke culture has spread to ‘We must protect Pete Davidson from verbal assault’ then it is back to the drawing board folks.

Hey guys, 900 different ways to cancel Kanye if you really want. Unfortunately this ain’t it. Hilarious.

4 months ago I thought there would never be a more boring beef than Drake v. Kanye. Behold, from the ashes rose Young v. Rogan. Never short of amazed at white people’s ability to appropriate.

@mikewiebe Love this take. I give it a close 2nd to tenenbaums cause I’m basic. His first ten or so years is way better than this last decade though imo. And this will go down as my most hipster tweet ever! Thanks Mike!

Darjeeling Limited is the best Wes Anderson movie and it’s not even close

Planning a one-week trip in July as if I have 2 million dollars.

Dear @nflcommish Please adopt college football overtime rules. Every single person outside of Kansas City wishes Josh Allen had the ball in his hands right now. As a Patriots fan I benefited from this rule a few years ago. I knew it stunk then. My father hates me. Thank you.