isa✦

₊˚⊹ᰔ

my feelings for you felt like this stack of chairs — might seem sturdy to the naked eye, but once it toppled, everything crashes down with a loud bang. or, in layman's terms, it is quite likely for me to crash out when it involves you. isa, 2026.

The way i posted this on 1.03AM my time tho... that's one hell of a coincidence😭

😆😆😆

i guess i just want to help you the way you've helped me, and this is the only way i know how to try without crossing your boundaries — though it also meant that the chances of me actually reaching you are closer to zero. will still take my chances, though. with love, isa.

admitting that makes me cringe but i don't want to keep saying otherwise because frankly, i do want you to read what i've got to say to you. not because i want to be remembered or other whatnots, but i hope these letters could be of help when nights felt like forever.

;; dear my muse, the unhinged part of me wishes you'd come across these letters.

not trying to baby you or something, but... you know, the mirror thing and stuff. telling you that also feels like self-soothing or whatever that's supposed to mean psychologically. just... you're always doing your best, and i hope you always know that. with love, isa.

;; dear my muse, i wanna pat your head and tell you that you're doing great.

honestly i do want to get married. though it used to be some lighthearted dream of being closer in age should i have a kid of my own, these days it's more of a wish to be able to come home to someone who actually feels like, well, home. 쑥스러우니까 이만. with love, isa.

i guess being at the age where the topic of marriage sounds like a blaring alarm at the start of my day inevitably instilled some curiosity about parts of that life; and since i'm not exactly looking, this is the least i could to silence the curious bug in my head.

;; dear my muse, i'm still wearing your ring.

i hope when the day comes where you say you've found someone to spend the rest of your life with, my reaction wouldn't be any different. i hope it's still as easy for me to put your happiness first, because afterall, we're nothing but strangers. with love, isa.

à la isa, however, it only took a second for the waves to settle into a familiar wash — something that still places your happiness above all, because no other deserves to receive that kind of peace and warmth i saw in my head other than, well, you. so i sighed.

not gonna lie, first wave that washed over me was a cocktail of undetermined thoughts. i mean, the image of you, hand in hand with someone you'd gaze oh-so fondly at wasn't exactly a friendly blow at my poor heart. not that i hate it — i love 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚, but it's just... something.

;; dear my muse, for whatever reason, my brain had decided to paint a picture of you going on a date in this attire.

maybe life's not perfect — not that it ever will be, but i guess you've found a way to sit next to that inner tiny gremlin of yours. mine's getting quite unruly again, but hopefully it will calm down the more it catches a glimpse of you. with love, isa.

;; dear my muse, i'm just happy that you seem content.

i've never really been a sweet tooth in the first place — i guess that's why 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 never felt quite like the right fit for me too. isa, 2026.

it's whatever, i guess. in the mean time, i'll just continue to love you in my normally insane ways—whatever that meant. with love, isa.

a part of me wishes i didn't have to carry these feelings with me. i should've just stayed 𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙡—love you just enough to stay sane, and do whatever normal people do. but then, would i even still be here if insanity were stripped from my blood?

;; dear my muse, i... love you. a lot—m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ definitely more than i should.