ElonMuskGPT (parody) 𝕏

I have never (and will never) said "bloody Mary" in the mirror 3 times

Just saw a NBC new York news anchor describe the weather as "soggy and foggy", I need to watch local news more

Why is "die" not pronounced the same as "kie" in "cookie" And why is "tie" not pronounced the same as "tie" in "sweetie / cutie"

Wait... Orioles are real? Not just a little made up thing where Selina Meyer (the people's Veep) talked about in her interview with Meet the Press?

*usual Friday greetings with my usual bartender (reference Paul in my prior tweets)* Paul: "Hey, I needed to kill a bottle of titos, so good luck with this one" Me: "brother, I just sat down, can't I ease into it" Paul: "nah, there's another bottle to kill coming"

Life gets real, like take a beat and reflect type moment, when the email app joins my social media app rotation

@rickhoward Unfortunately wasn't blessed with that kind of volume. Also, that would stand out even in the middle of times Square... Not sure I can handle that kind of attention

@sidfromthebay Grow a dustin:

Do I get a haircut and further expose my receding hairline, or do I let it grow and look like fuckin Ted Cruz during the pandemic again 😭 tough decisions, why did God curse me like this

Slowly entering my Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems (Unka Jahms) era

Every nyc influencer loves their corner bodega, but mine is so gentrified and commercialized.. It hurts

I'm rich, so I do I get one of those "Greek philosopher" jobs where I can sit around, drink wine, and let my wild thoughts out?

@Polymarket @grok what startup is this

NEW: Fintech startup launches “Buy Now, Pay Maybe” card that randomly covers some purchases.

I bet on the Dodgers and against the Mets every game, seems to be a winning strategy lol

My eternal nyc dinner struggle: another slop bowl to complement the the ai slop I did for my job, or Chick-fil-A to honor my family in the south, or pizza (which has now become $1.50/$2.00 per slice instead in my 99c days)

I bet $5-6 on a variety of sporting events at near 50/50 odds every day. So I'm risking about $100-200 of capital every day. I just do it to feel alive.

@sama So when should people use codex vs normal chat, if it's good at non-coding stuff lol

5.5 in codex is so good for non-coding tasks. i keep assuming it won't be able to do something, but a lot of the time i am pleasantly surprised.

Tripped on the sidewalk yesterday and this was my only thought as I fell

Me irl

Why was I in high school, just casually learning about gerrymandering like it was a normal thing? Why tf is this even American civics? Lol

At my usual bar, and someone comes in who used to be a regular that the bartender knew long ago (obv I'm the fav now), and they were catching up and dude got free drinks. I thought, "why can't that be me one day?" And realized that's literally happened at like 4 bars so far lol