Sidney Abbott

Don't panic pet, socially distance rules don't yet apply to the twins....

Got to say the Queen (and her speech writers) absolutely f**king nailed that. Stay home Stay safe Send nudes #WellMeetAgain

Well it's day 10 of lockdown, and I think I've wanked so much dehydration is setting in. Oh well, once more unto the breach dear friends....

@MikeGunn1 Evening sir! Dull story but lost my job and the new one (happy to have it) doesn't give me the time or opportunity to be on here. Hope you're well and not too bored with lockdown.

@sidneyabbot Welcome back Sid. Where have you been?

Probably a sign of the times but my first thoughts on seeing this were to check she hasn't been stock piling bog roll...

Bloody hell! It's been a while since I've seen such well stocked shelves.... #LookAtTheSizeOfThoseSaturday

I'm sure everyone is already aware of this, but in these odd and worrying times, please remember Wash your hands, Keep at least 2m apart, Stay at home when possible, & Send nudes....

From the seats I'd say that's an A Class Mercedes. If so: Somewhat underpowered engine, Slightly vague handling, Cramped rear seats Expensive service costs, but Truly magnificent airbags....

To help with a crafty spot of errrr self "isolation" which bongo mag should be brought back and distributed free of charge?

Certainly popped my cork....

To put it in terms i can understand, image virus's as bristols. As you look at the screen, to the left you have Corona, to the right flu. Note how flu is completely #OutGunned #StayTheFookAtHome...Please

Bloody hell! How good does Screwfix's same hour "tradesmans" delivery service look!!!!

Carry on voting. I love them all but Khyber edges it for me. What about you?

Everything considered, and I realise it's a small win, but the new Corona testing procedures at airports are, errr, wanktastic...

The pubs near me are very busy. Seriously wtf!?! Supermarket shelves are nigh on empty. Really? Come on. My advice... ➡️ Get some cans in ➡️ Only buy what you, and any vulnerable neighbours need ➡️ Stay in and wank/shag yourself senseless #StaySafe

@CarryOnJoan And continuing the case for Up The Khyber we the very wonderful @ImAngelaDouglas as Exhibit B

@CarryOnJoan Tough call. Even without Sid Screaming is superb but I'll go for Up The Khyber. And to back my call I present Exhibit A

If you are stuck at home at the moment which #CarryOn would cheer you up the most out of my favourite four? #CarryOnBlogging

Well, day one of self isolation and working from home has gone well. I've viewed 93% of the entire pornhub back catalogue, panic bought 16 wrist braces from Amazon and have 3rd degree burns on the palm of my right hand. #HappyDays

At last, some really helpful advice for these difficult times....