Simon Newby

For any recent followers on the back of a witty tweet. Strap yourselves in, you are in for a lesson in mediocrity. Oh, and thanks for the follow x

You bloody idiots

Buenos días

@SFCMikeKavs All he needs to do now is when he sees the runner trying to get behind the defence ahead is to actually pass the ball to them instead of sideways

Jan Bednarek's redemption Arc should be studied in school 😍

@jez_power @HillF1 @IvankaTrump Or the smaller ones

@HillF1 @IvankaTrump I’m not convinced he would understand the big words

This past week, I turned 43!   Reflecting on life’s lessons, here are some truths I’ve learned along the way:

Trump says there’s no empty seats and the cameraman goes rogue Live fact checks at trump rallies now

the guy who just mansplained The Handmaid’s Tale to the author of The Handmaid’s Tale

Probably the rioting.

Dear Tories, Unhappy with the Budget?? Ask Dido Harding where the £35 Billion went. Or Michelle Mone for the £120 Million. Or why Sunak overpaid interest payments on the national debt. Too easy??? Shut the fuck up then.

Charlie Mullins, sold his business for £145 million in 2021, and divested all his UK assets, redirecting his investments to Spain and Dubai. He lives in Marbella. The Labour budget does not affect him at all. Journalists — do your fucking jobs!

#Budget2024 …

BREAKING 🚨🚨🚨 Young people told to cancel their Netflix subscription’s so poor desperate pensioners like Julie and John don’t have to sell one of their 60 properties.

Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger has endorsed Kamala Harris. The 90% of Daily Mail readers who never get beyond the headline will never know this though.

@FootballRamble Do you fancy having a go at management? Might be a vacancy on the south coast very soon. I'm sure Luke will fancy it 😬

📫 Got a question for this week's Mailbag? ⬇️ We want to hear it, so ask away!

OBR confirm the tories fiscal management was disastrous for the country this year - they borrowed an astonishing £127 BILLON 127,000,000,000 What the actual fcuk & they’ve got a nerve to act offended by Rachel Reeves 🧐 Never let them near our money again #Budget2024

Michelle Mone still owes £232m as decided by a court nearly 2 years ago. It is time to stop cracking down on Disabled People and start cracking down on criminals.

@Bandrel It blows a raspberry and a 'bang' flag comes out

This red button from the original security system is still by the front door. I'm going to create a big vinyl letters that say do not push. What should I make the button do when someone pushes it?

@AmoasahPat84067 🤷‍♂️ Why not leave it at that, at least he looks happy. Not sure why you replied though, odd fanboy hill to die on.

Oh shut up, you entitled prick

@tiff_tv Happy Birthday Tiff, saw it from the Northam

Happy Birthday to me!! Mrs Needell enjoyed the penalty but then of course being #SaintsFC we managed to throw away a two goal lead before getting the winner in the dying minutes ..

@joum1984 @matoxley This is about as far as my dad got off the bike (#1) 🤣

@matoxley Case in point, Saarinen looks scared riding the bike, compared to today's average GP/SBK rider. Barely moving on the thing.

When fans complain that modern MotoGP bikes are ugly (I mostly don't agree because the first rule of good design is that FORM should follow FUNCTION) they forget that many old GP bikes looked shite. ie this Seeley monocoque tested by Sheene in 1973 😱😱

@rmbyres Discount up to an hour before kickoff I think. And the DMB bar in the Northam is next to the Block 40 stairs, had Clawhammer and Necessary Evil on tonight

Just got me and the boy a pint in fanzone at SMS. Went to scan my ticket for discount. Fella behind counter said "It's run out" "What's run out?" " The scanning thing. Ran out half an hour ago". Nope, no idea, not questioning the lad serving for £1.50 or whatever, but WTF?