#RutoMustGo

Hiyo pancreatic juice tunakunywa saa ngapi?

"naomba mni add kwa hiyo group ya Whatsapp enye inajiita blood group"

Never forget South African thugs killed Lucky Dube because they confused him for a Nigerian national and wanted to rob him. That’s how deep the xenophobia goes down south.

Jason Statham flipping his car to unhook a bomb in Transporter? Penny affording that apartment in Big Bang? Vin Diesel cracking a road with his foot? Sisu guy flipping a tank?

Tuliona huyo patient ni mwanaume tukaamua kutoa gall bladder.

Aliko Dangote ONCE WANTED to ESTABLISH a Cement Factory in Kenya but the NUMBER TWO then DEMANDED HEFTY KICKBACKS he had to RUN BACK to Nigeria. This country is IRREDEEMABLY CORRUPT.

Yesterday I had an interesting experience I was trying to file returns for a certain individual He was confident that he will file nill returns We logged in on his itax account Mimi huyo mpaka pale kwa NIL returns Buana unaclick Iyo kitu ya NIL KRA wanakwambia you have expenses you need to declare😂😂 Nauliza jamaa yangu. Rada…. Kwani kuna biashara ulifanya juu KRA inasema uko na expenses za Kshs. 185,000 Jamaaa tried thinking…. Aaaaaai anasema hapana. Yeye hana official business na zile yeye hufanya ni Biashara mwecheche hustling hapa na pale😂 Iyo kitu ikanishinda. I called a contact kwa hapo watu wa Haille Sellasie. Nikamuuliza Kwani hii kitu yenyu haikubali NIL returns juu jomba hapa hana Biashara na Hii kitu inasema ako na Kshs. 185,000 as expenses😂 Jamaa ikaniammbia nimpee few minutes. After few minutes. Akanicall. Akaniambia niulize jomba kama analipanga school fees xx school😂😂 Jamaaa akaniambia…. eeeeh watoto wanasoma huko. At first he thought he was telling me something interesting 🤨 Then my guy told me… “Hakuna mtu analipa school fees ya Kshs. 185,000 per year na hana kazi ama biashara. Sasa KRA inataka atueleze mahali Iyo pesa ilitoka” Wueeeeh sini mbaya.. This is what happened When Jomba paid school fees. The school recorded it as an income and issued an eTIMS receipt. This automatically updated in KRA backend system that the school has received an income and that’s an expense to whoever who paid it. So KRA wants to understand huyu mtu hana kazi, hana biashara is surviving how in Nairobi. Kama ni savings as you all would claim.. hii savings unatoa wapi kila mwaka😂 Buana KRA wametunasa. Alafu they are not doing this to everyone. First they are using Ai to monitor transactions you do everyday using mobile or banking platforms. So in this case they notice you have payments you are making. They then deploy Ai to analyze your mobile and banking expenses. Jomba Wangu runs a hardware and workshop. Mpesa transactions zake unaona zinagonga upto 500k per month.. Lakini walimshikia pale kwa school fees. Wale wako na corporate pins ndio wana feel the heat… Sahii kufanya biashara bila eTIMS ni blunder🥹

The most improbable recovery you'll see today

Original things are always the highest quality.

President Museveni called me and said he wanted to buy 50% shares in Kenya Pipeline and said he didn't care about the price. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You’re currently telling us about it. That’s why he refused.

First board meeting and bro has recreated the meme

😂😂😂

The group of friends on their guys-only vacation… right after their wives told them, “Don’t have too much fun without us.” 😂

Tenwek hospital built a brand new Cardio Thoracic hospital from scratch for about 5Billion. 176 beds, 6 theatres, lab, blood bank, 52 ICU units, endoscopy rooms etc. Ruto went to open it. The 89 Billion spent on statehouse in 4 years could build 17 of these across the country.

Soldiers should know better. You’re only allowed to do this if you’re a member of congress.

Ghanaian and Nigerian upper class are some of the most useless people on the planet.

And in Nairobi, goons are appointed to hospital boards.

"Ati oxygen imeisha? Fungueni madirisha."