$iri the Teenage Witch

A friend said "we want to show our daughter how beautiful the world is". I feel the same way. That's why I feed my dog potato chips.

Unless this is taken care of, I will never fly @AmericanAir again. And I recommend that if you plan to travel, just go with Delta. I cannot believe I’ve had so many issues on a simple trip to Wisconsin.

@AmericanAir I need compensation for this disastrous weekend. I’ve done nothing wrong and your failure to take care of your planes has cost me money and time. This should have been a simple trip and you’ve added a full 24 hours on to my travel.

Never fly @AmericanAir . On Friday evening at 10pm my flight from Dallas to Madison was cancelled and I couldn’t get a flight out until 10:30am. I was given no hotel voucher, no cab fare, nothing to makeup for it.

My mom just referred to her bra as an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.

@cullenryanwisco Wholesome Nightmare Fuel.

My parents live in Northern WI. They have a 3 acre field behind their house. They let a local horse owner grow clover over 2.5 of the acres. The rest is their garden. A new Carlos The Scarecrow protects their garden every year. Carlos The 34th arrived today.

Zoom with middle schoolers is a hellmouth but I’m on spring break, drunk, floating in a pool on a giant slice of pizza, and I’ve never been this close to god.

Happy Women’s History Month! Today my 60 year old male coworker told me I look tired when I don’t wear makeup.

@TrevorDowd @GovAbbott @tedcruz Why would you move next door to your bully?

When you see Texans come out of the other side of this, know that it has nothing to do with @GovAbbott and @tedcruz . We’re taking care of each other.

@TrevorDowd @GovAbbott @tedcruz WUT

.@tedcruz flew to Cancun while my husband and I spent 85 hours without power in our home. Some of that we slept in our car. So many are still without power and we’re all rationing food and water. I can’t look at Ted Cruz memes because this shit just isn’t funny.

Hi I’m back and I’m cold and I’m mad at every every decision maker in Texas.

I know I said I was done with Twitter, but Gordon Ramsay slowly pulling off fake facial hair on 24 Hours to Hell and Back is the most disgusting thing on TV and I have no one to talk to about it.

Twitter is a garbage place that makes me feel like sad garbage and I won’t be going on it anymore. Find me on Instagram: siriousbusiness. I post pictures of my dogs and photoshop my sister’s face onto fast food.

@wisniear Is. This. Real.

YO FUCK ME UP, SABRINA SPELLMAN. YASSS.

I House Managed the @nicolebyer show tonight and LET ME TELL YOU. I love love looooove working shows of people I’m a fan of and I love it even more when they turn out to be great people. Didn’t get to talk to her but I overheard her talking to students and she was so kind.

@TacitTaciturn Paper crown and a pocket full of bird head.

Tryin’ to convince Stuart he should be King Paimon for Halloween. As one does.

Both of my parents helped me baked bread over the phone tonight.