James Blunt-head trauma

Meagre crouton

Woolworths is pedalling some unconscionable sourdough.

There needs to be a curly gurl method for unclogging the shower drain

@EylonALevy @WashPost The spam calls keep getting more and more annoying...

Trying to get an important business deal done. Firebombed the guy's house to make him more likely to negotiate with me. I just want peace.

My phone, which I bought about 10 years ago to communicate w/ friends, has in that time replaced all my friends with itself.

This has been apparent to Marxists for at least a century.

Is the root word of mortadella the same as like, mortician?

he laughs and i sorta anxiously laugh along. but thats what reading is all about.

sometimes i feel like we're kind of all the same, more or less. to remed y this i drink a bottle of wine and read half a chapter of deleuze in an angry way, and he and I laugh tgthr @ the peasants

The worst part about being the teacher’s pet was having to wear the tail

Ready to have a girlfriend. I am going to end up spending years with the next person who agrees to meet me at a bar, regardless of our chemistry.

The Grok "white genocide" thing today is another example of "AI" in practice just being a way to place a facade of "intelligence" and rationality over something you thought/wanted to do already. Basically just functioning as an extremely expensive software mirror.

Everyone homophobic til they see a man driving to work on a bicycle with his husband in the back which, in all fairness, is a loving relationship

I’m talking to girls you’ve never heard of, from schools you can’t pronounce

I love how the settled bipartisan position on housing now is “housing should be more affordable but prices should also continue to rise”

Me after seeing a visually strange move: wow that was Kafkaesque Me encountering absurd and compassionless institutions in the face of which I am powerless: let’s get this bread

Hey what’s up? I’m the guy who names radio stations. For a while I was into cryptography but now I like cool sounds like the breeze or freak fm.

@horse_feedbag Having a very expensive bike is a key husband trait

Get renter's insurance because sometimes your husband's very expensive bike gets stolen out of the secure bike lock up lmfao

A Robinson R44 helicopter crashed on takeoff from Bird Island, South Africa, when a penguin 🐧 in a cardboard box slid from the passenger's grip on to the pilot's cyclic pitch control lever. The accident occurred on 19 Jan. The occupants, including the penguin, were unharmed.