Manning Salvedge

@LooseFang Casa Bonita, Awesome!

There's a dude in the waiting room at the veterinarian's office named Mr. Wright who owns a cat...so ladies, I'm sorry but he's no Mr. Right

I dislike the vampire craze as much anyone, but I am glad at least that someone out there is named "Vampire Bill."

If I start my own company I'm definitely not hiring anyone who plays cellphone video games with the sound on while taking a dump.

@LucyRides13 I'm pretty sure Chas Bukowski also said that tough guys are never extremely happy. Also that they drive black BMWs.

"Tough guys never use emoticons." -C. Bukowski

I just learned that a buzz cut at Rudy's Barbershop went up from $15 to $18. Damn you Obama!

@Sean_Abel you are just aboot correct my friend!

There will be a reckoning. http://yfrog.com/keuigtnj

"Sour grapes.". -C. Walken

"Somebody stole a lug nut from my car!" "What the fuck, who needs ONE lug nut?" "ME!"

Crazy Hook is a bit of a misnomer, a more accurate name would be Emotional Problems Hook.

"Seriously, she's at least six or six-one." "You mean out of ten? I've never heard anyone using tenths!" "I of course meant height."

Whenever I see a newborn at a restaurant I think hey which one is the mom oh there she is.

I love this fair city, to be sure, and there's no denying that it's inhabited by a Circus of Mutants...but the tourists are worse.

PIRATES and PARTIES contain the exact same letters. There's gotta be a joke in there somewhere.

This just in: los angeles is leading the league this season in summertime weather excellence. #cigarmageddon.

The US women's team didn't score on twelve first half shots on goal? Damned Carmageddon!

RT: Don't forget "dirtbike!" @LooseFang: Funniest thing to say in an Australian accent? Jetpack. Try it.

"Man, you're gonna have SO much fun tonight except for the music!" -friend, to another friend re: Sarah at the Bowl.