Andrew Snowdon (he/they//him/them)

to every font kern, kern, kern there is a spacing kern, kern, kern and an x-height, and a point size and descenders

@ALL_CAPS At least they’re berries and cheese? I don’t know if I’d want my Barbie perogies to be bacon and onion

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

@TheFrthAngel @hughtranastro @8ofPentacles Funny, I was just thinking about this in the shower yesterday… thanks for the update!

@snobiwan @hughtranastro @8ofPentacles It turned out to be a sketchy money grab that is supposedly about to ship but they're charging backers more than 2/3 the cost of the chair to ship them and their payment provider is causing people's banks to kick back fraud alerts.

3rd horseman is commonly called Famine, but he specifically does NOT blight crops, does not damage food. His weapon is the scales, and "destroys" not by weather or worm, but market manipulation. A closer name might be "Inflation" or "Capital" or "Bread Fixing" or "Galen Weston."

@iFartHaiku @beaty_boop Ah yes, the Taskmaster clause

@beaty_boop @snobiwan There’s something to be said for doing things in the correct order. 1. Die first. 2. THEN get buried. 3. Next-of-kin competes to survive your murder house to receive their inheritance. (Optional)

"Something Something Modest Funeral Alternative" (Sign points to trebuchet aimed at the ocean)

@iFartHaiku @beaty_boop I don’t think mariner-assisted induced death is legal, twelve-mile limit or no

@snobiwan @beaty_boop It’s always everything but the easy way with you, isn’t it?

@iFartHaiku @beaty_boop I was thinking, see, the trebuchet probably results in surface death, unless you’re a really good diver, so base price, but it goes up as you go down

@beaty_boop @snobiwan A quarter million buries you at sea THEN kills you. Bribing a container ship captain to dump your corpse in the pacific should be much cheaper.

@beaty_boop I thought the going rate for almost certainly dying at sea was a quarter million… unless it depends on depth, maybe it’s a sliding scale

Me: can I like just get in *tries to hand attendant my twenty dollars*

I don’t want to lose you people (well, most of you) so come find me on Threads where I am asnowdon. Otherwise dm me your phone number. Otherwise, well, this sure was school ✌🏻

@kswallowtarot Oh nooooo aren’t we on signal for the super secret esoteric stuff

@beaty_boop Conversely, Threads is full of BARbees which is fine but I think the pink pixels on my phone are gonna need topping up soon

@beaty_boop I opened Twitter and it was full of bees. Apt.

The City of Ottawa will hold a virtual media availability at 3 pm today, July 18, to provide an update on O-Train Line 1. Listen live: bit.ly/34gH1Ii

I'm this kind of barbie person

@fraterfdisk @Astraea_Rose_ well shit

@snobiwan @Astraea_Rose_ It wasn’t in that place

Ok horary astrologers! WTF did my wallet get to? I haven’t been able to find it for a week…

@fraterfdisk @Astraea_Rose_ I wanna know the outcome of this

@Astraea_Rose_ Oooh… I know a place to check based off of that and what other people have said.

@tiredxwitch Really? I swear I did

Can’t swear on threads. Pleasassseee

@tiredxwitch I am familiar with the Teaches of Peaches

You kids ever heard of Peaches?

@sunshineinthe8h Understood, in a local context where there’s only likely one or two common names for the same plant that only makes sense.

@sunshineinthe8h I wouldn’t know pleurisy root was so readily available if it weren’t for the latin binomial… and what do they call it in Mexico?

Happy 30th anniversary to Björk's genius "Debut" debut album. Big Time Sensuality