so_picki

starbucks app glitching saying my order is ready made me just question my entire existence thinking like who tf is hacking my starbucks account🤣🤣🤣 good thing twitter exists so i know i’m not going crazy

My Google Drive storage is full do you guys think I can delete my AP US History essays yet or will I need those

I can buy my own flowers but if you could buy my iced coffee that would be nice

wish i could take my brain out and blow on it like a nintendo ds game card

Did the ticketmaster bruise paint you blue? Just between us, how long were you in that queue?

It’s called the “Eras” tour because if you try to log in to Ticketmaster all you get are era messages

If Chick Fil A was in charge of the Ticketmaster queue I would’ve had Taylor Swift tickets within MINUTES just saying

The ADHD urge to work on literally anything other than the one thing you should be working on.

Edward broke up with Bella in the WOODS!!! And then left her there alone and it got dark. Still team Edward tho

my favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons

Dear tampon/pad companies (specifically @poise) please show me one REAL woman who would willingly jump on a bounce house or trampoline on their period?! I would quite literally rather die 😩

If you classify today or yesterday’s events as a “win,” unfollow me, block me; don’t ever talk to to me again. I can’t believe this is where we have fallen to as a society.

Just want everyone to know in my life that I live in New York now and would love visitors, especially from the following states: AL, AZ, AR, GA, ID, IA, KY, LA, MI, MS, MO, ND, OH, OK, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, WV, WI, & WY.

“Welcome to Taco Bell - just so you know we’re out of all the ingredients to make tacos…” @tacobell wtf?! 🤔

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife's plans for the second time.

If selling cakes makes bakers participants in gay marriages, then selling assault rifles makes gun manufacturers participants in mass shootings.

I don't know how to break it to you, but... If UNIVERSAL BACKGROUND CHECKS and RED FLAG LAWS create an insurmountable barrier to you owning a firearm, then you ARE the person we're worried about.

If you saw me pull into the liquor store parking lot with @taylorswift13 on max volume…mind your business

I love you @jimmykimmel @JimmyKimmelLive. Thank you!!!