On Marital Kindness
Now the dust have settled on Uvo’s divorce, it is important we address the elephant in the room that has made everyone mount the wall of Jericho in their personal lives. Many people are afraid of investing in a partner out of fear of being hurt in return and made to look like a fool.
But marriage unites and relationships come with responsibility. If you’re going to marry a person, you have a responsibility to love and to cherish. You have to make them believe because you believe, and give them wings to fly. That is why your vetting process must be thorough and you must take their behavior seriously. There are no guarantees , but it is always better to err on the side of due diligence than blind faith.
Many of you have so much to lose and you’re partnered up with someone that has nothing to lose. Long term, investment in the union is mostly one sided. If you are in such kind of partnership, it would be assumed that it is what you like. The sacrifices and investment you make in your partner is meant to improve their life and the overall welfare of the family. Half the time, it works fine and the other half brings tragedy.
Nobody can ask you not to love your partner because you chose them and you have a responsibility to love them. However, the words of Jesus must always find its way in your heart - “where your treasure is, that is where your heart will be.” A marriage unites two people as one, including their finances. While there are no guarantees, the odds of commitment are infinitely higher when both parties are fully devoted financially to the union. It already takes devotion to commit your finances, and because your finances are invested, your heart will always be there because you want to reap the rewards. It is easy to be indifferent to a relationship where your finances are not invested.
Making money is not enough. You need to understand the bond between the heart and finance. You would think you’re good by carrying all the financial responsibility when you have a working partner, but it might just be the very thing that cracks the wall. Everything you have belongs to the family - quite alright. But everything your partner has also belongs to the family. If you’re the only one investing your finances in the home, it is only your heart that is guaranteed in that home. Investing financially into the home is not just about money and who makes more, it is about ensuring devotion. A person’s heart is always where their money is. Don’t you want to at least be certain your partner’s heart is present? What exactly are they using their money for if it doesn’t go into the family because wherever that money goes, that is where their heart is.
It is not unkindness to not want to be the sole investor in a union of two. It is actually kindness that wants mutual kindness. You are both putting the relationship first before self. Even if it goes wrong later in future, at least you know you both brought your best foot forward and invested in it. There would be no malice as with when you solely invested and you’re lamenting about how much you invested into the other person while they did nothing. If it works fine, you can both drink to your deliberate act of love and commitment to each other. Again, where your treasure is, that is where your heart is. There is no exception. Don’t odogwu yourself into self harm. Nobody who loves you holds back their finances. NOBODY!