b 🐝

(I’m melodramatic and ended up getting everything I wanted)

Twitter thought I may have “missed” this, and this is the impetus for fully deleting this app. Not giving the full context of the tweet because -it’s exactly what you’d expect and hate neither needs nor deserves more engagement. I’m on the other apps with the same username.

@QueenofTacos I cackled at “heterosexuality” (as a hetero… not wrong!)

@1dgrn @OolieJ Exactly, I think you can have that conversation. I have found that communication is harder especially with younger folks.

@1dgrn @OolieJ I do think it’s a coaching moment. It’s fine to have plans, boundaries but sometimes client service has to come first and that means sometimes staying w/in cell service. It’s not catastrophic because you handled it, but not all clients/partners will be so understanding.

@boomerdavis 💀💀💀💀

"Joint Party" sounds like a relaxed theme. Maybe your local dispensary will sell you some flower in bulk so you can have them roll their own? 😆😁😁🤣

@arealgdtime Called my brother for his birthday this week and my kids (almost 6 and almost 2) barely said “happy birthday” lmao I’m sorry

Thank God my kids’ birthdays are so close together and I can do a joint party, these things are expensive

@nkc____ 💀 when I say Kansas is a small town the size of a whole state this is the kind of thing I mean

Finally started reading some of Patricia Lockwood’s writing, she starts talking about her dad doing Latin mass in KC and I realize oh no we must have more mutual acquaintances than I thought, so I text my sister in law Emily, and:

@lyssquire Oh no. Was it his first haircut?

@lyssquire Oh my god I’d lose it

Sorry for wasting our money @bonersprings

I fully plan to get kicked out of @InningsFest for demanding @falloutboy play Spidey songs This is not a threat

Bernie Madoff as head of the SEC

Scrooge McDuck for Treasury Secretary

What kind of fuckin Reddit thread dreamed up this cabinet

@sasscarpone Literally W almost crashed the car when I giggled at myself and said it with a straight face 😂😭

@lyssquire Yep! The height adjusts up and down so should be able to regardless of the height of your bed. It’s a little awkward if you’re on your side and trying to pick baby up out of it but it should work the way you’re hoping!

@SteamboatUSA And Chinese food. I should be able to pick up two pounds of food for less than $10, eat until I hate myself, and have enough for lunch the next day.