Sanjay Patel

@FrankMcRae He's always saying "There's no i in team and there's no u in neighbor and color."

Your reaction after the ten pin bowling alley worker tells you that the bowling ball polisher isn't working today.

*Unemployment in NZ is the highest it's been for 5 years* Luxon: "It's not National's fault, it's literally..." *Luxon puts on sunglasses* "...a Labour problem." "YYYEEEEEAAHHH"

National will do a U turn on scrapping NCEA when Luxon learns the N stands for National

Hi Wellington, I'm bringing my comedy show Stupid down for one night only, this Sat 9 August at the Fringe Bar. Love to see you there, here's a video to tide you over until then eventfinda.co.nz/2025/sanjay-pa…

This would be my name if I made more money

Hello, if you're in Christchurch I'm performing my comedy fest show there tomorrow night. Love to see you there littleandromeda.co.nz/show/sanjay-pa…

Okay my beef with Pope Francis is now officially over

I'm doing a solo hour at this year's NZ International Comedy Festival, my first solo in 9 years! I did this in Melbourne this month and it was awesome, come see me! comedyfestival.co.nz/find-a-show/st…

He only loves to hear the sound of moaning and screams of delight coming from his hotel room TV

For any X followers in Melbourne, I've had great fun doing the first two shows and it continues tonight and all the way to the 6th of April. Tickets from comedyfestival.com.au/browse-shows/s… and if you use promo code HALFSTUPID you'll get tickets for half the price!

Crazy that a footwear company originating in New Zealand called itself Allbirds and not Allgoods.

*Hearing about children getting steam burns from school lunches* Christopher Luxon: "You know what you wouldn't get steam burns from? Marmite sandwiches & apples supplied by otherwise lazy parents."

Compass are just going to provide Marmite sandwiches as school lunches, aren't they?

Famous saying - "Make love, not war." Famous Kiwi saying - "Make love and a marmite sandwich."

Andrew Bayly's last action as minister was touching

Debate? Settled. #AKLvWEL

super bowl prediction Kendrick lamar set: - not like us - squable up Suddenly the vibe shifts Flea from red hot chili pepper starts slapping the seinfeld theme FULL BLAST A brick wall lowers from the heavens A single mic raises from the floor Jerry seinfeld comes out “whats the deal with the halftime show Forget half time, lets get the whole game over in HALF the TIME by removing some of these commercials Hey doritos we get it, you exist!” cut to taylor swift having full medical emergency from laughing to hard RIP taylor swift

I love nothing more than seeing Daryl Mitchell smashing sixes on a livestream on YouTube

Did Tim Jago write this post?