Cristina

periodic reminder of Hot Fiancèe

When you write a work email so good that you go into Sent and admire your work:

using the :P emoji was such a core part of my lexicon pre-2010 and I don't think I've truly reckoned with how much was taken from me because I have barely used it since, we have lost our way and our whimsy, like nothing truly encapsulates this feeling in the same way that He Does

@wearetootgames Huge!!! Congrats!

Wahoooo so excited to finally announce that we’re working with the wonderful people at Jackbox!

when you have ur titties out that's called the cleveland show

have you ever seen a sadder or more triangular boy?

@Brocklesnitch !!! this is career-defining imho

Everyone Paris Paloma has a new song coming out and the intro is my loser headline and it’s spoken by EMMA THOMPSON 🚨🚨🚨

mamma mia, here I go again my, my, how can I resist you?

I have literally the hottest fiancèe

Toot Toot Truganina Big Red Car

“you better not be spreading yourself too thin” me:

@stephcrothersVA that's 200 pounds off for a family of four! 👁️👄👁️

people keep asking if this is me ✈️🌍🏝️ #jet2 #jet2holidays #voiceacting #voiceactor #voiceover

she said "yes, obviously!!!!!" 💍✨🌈

BREAKING GAY NEWS!!!!! 💍🌈

your 20s are for beating compulsory heterosexuality and realizing you’re a lesbian

boss: “what time will you be in today?” me:

omg I found her

in the past few months a reddit post with under 400 upvotes I made TWELVE YEARS AGO about an obscure bodily anomaly I have (nothing serious) has suddenly attracted a bunch of new comments and tbh I can only see this as further proof that google search has completely shat the bed

"hey bud, do you like iceberg lettuce?" yeah, but I'd say I'm a more of a

how is it fair that I have not only gotten my period twice in the same calendar month, but in THE SHORTEST MONTH???? 😭😭😭