Stacia Goldfish

1. don't get a cat if you're going to declaw it 2. don't get a dog if you don't have patience to train it 3. stop perpetuating the idea that sharks are vicious and horrible and will eat you 4. DON'T BUY REAL IVORY TRINKETS FOR ANY REASON EVER thank you, this has been a psa

when everyone posting about their last week & you still have two more weeks to go

i never know if i should be ballin' or bawlin'

to the kid in class who always participates & asks questions and has great habits and boasts about straight a's:

it's called the Ugly Barnacle. Once there was an Ugly Barnacle. He was SO ugly that EVERYONE died. The End!

you have a legal obligation. to let me rest my noggin. in your lap. whenever i so desire. it’s the law

@GlendeMatthew go to bed

Rochester area colleges and universities: A vine thread

where's the clothing store spring break ads for actual college students: taking a nap immediately after waking up until your job at 5pm alternating with crying over the homework you really should be doing

gooooob morning. today is a day. to reflect upon. your latest accomplishments. here are mine: 4. big jump b. zooms of the speedy variety 1. carried stick 9. borked away. evildoers 2. big leap (different than a jump} 2. ate a funny bug d. spit out funny bug 7. loved everything

@therealnans this may or may not be a serious tweet but a serious answer is taking one of those freezy gel packs and freezing it like %75 like slightly gooey and cold and thawed and putting it on your eyes

If you’re ever sad about losing a friend just remember that I was God’s best friends until he kicked me out of heaven, but now I’m ruling hell and living my best life so sometimes it’s for the best

@Belowaveragejo with this logic, nobody can ever be happy ever because someone has it better

this is so pure twitter.com/FullscreenNet/…

@SoDamnTrue I think complain about it because sometimes the parents don't teach the kid the importance of working hard, like even if I was hella rich and could pay for everything my kid did I'd still make em get a job and put effort in, lotta times bitches just don't try and don't care 🤷

why is being alive so expensive. im not even having a good time

Krusty Krab is unfair! Mr. Krabs is in there! Standing at the concession! Plotting his oppression!

Stop fucking killing each other

when the prof you hate says they're gonna be gone for two classes twitter.com/ltsTheOffice/s…

i encourage everyone. to pet the pup. at whatever party you attend tonight. they’re working overtime. and deserve undivided attention