Amanda

@Markchoma1 Thanks. You’ve helpfully framed it for me. I hope they come back.

@startingsober25 You,and are,feeling betrayed, and are, in some ways grieving your decisions, and people dont always handle grief in a rational way. Give them time. Id bet most of them are keeping up with how youre doing in silence.

Day 9. Walked 10 miles. Ate well. Still in my feels over folks who have distanced themselves from me since I tried to end my life. I just can’t imagine doing that to anyone. Ever. At their lowest moment. In tears as I write this because I clearly meant very little to them.

I’m so classy I just dipped a piece of chocolate into my jar of peanut butter as my late (for me) night snack!

@Estelle_Flee It was! Lots of sunshine and blue skies!

@startingsober25 You did really well today. Great idea to take that long walk - I hope it was somewhere nice !

@thebinkyfish You can do this! I’m on day 9. Rooting for you!

2 days sober, setting the foundation

@jfgett3234 Wise words. I need to be less sensitive and just move on. It’s just hard when you’re working your ass off to be a better person.

@startingsober25 I’m sorry to hear that, but the truth is you were given a chance at a new life and if they don’t want to be there to see you find success and happiness, then you don’t need them, even if it is heartbreaking! Keep your head up and focused on going forward!!!

@Estelle_Flee Today I didn’t drink. I also went for a 10 mile walk. And you’re right about people, it just sucks. Appreciate your message. Thank you.

@startingsober25 Focus on healing, loving yourself and getting better. People come and go in our lives - it’s just the way it is. What are you going to do tomorrow that will help you on your journey?

@SilentTiger777 You’ve been through so much. I’m glad you’re still here and have a plan for your substance free future. I wish you all the very best in your recovery and your goals.

I’m glad you’re still here. Last July I barely survived a suicide attempt… Now that I’m FINALLY approved for SSDI - I have a clear roadmap to the future and substance abuse isn’t apart of it anymore. I have attainable goals now like going to school soon so I can join up with Cybercrimes because I’ve always wanted to make a difference in the LEO community. I couldn’t be happier and prouder of how far I’ve come - I used to feel like I NEEDED a substance to feel “normal” but not anymore. Just give me some good music, good friends and some fun adventures together and I’m good. ☺️ I’m tearing up while I write this because I’ve attempted suicide at least 6 times in the past decade and thank god I survived. Last year was particularly horrible for me because my best friend Corey died and I still haven’t found out how it happened… Here’s to a bright future for both of us though ✌️

A month ago I drank a bottle of wine and tried to end my life. Yet here I am having done 7 days sober. Dealing with stress. I don’t know how long it’ll last but I’ll keep trying.

Also the GP weighed me yesterday and based on my last weight I did at home, I’ve lost just over 2.5kg since I stopped drinking.

@69darkside69 I know you’re right, it’s a combination of not wanting to burden anyone and also fearing rejection when vulnerable.

@startingsober25 I agree, I always hate asking, but I have learned when I absolutely need it to ask. And I've learned to be proud regardless.

Made a private GP appointment for today. Panic attacks have ramped up and don’t have a GP anymore. Dreading telling someone the all but I need to ask for help.

@JimiRva1975 One day at a time. That’s on repeat in my head.

@startingsober25 Well done !! One day at a time - you can do this

Made myself go out for a walk today. Had no idea how far or long I’d manage. Took my propranolol before because just leaving the house is hard. Seemed to help. Anyway, AirPods in, hat on and away I went. Did this. Day 9 and I’m feeling positive. Thanks for all the support.

@soze_kizer31402 Thank you! Most activity I’ve done in maybe 10 months.

@startingsober25 10 miles in 3 hours! Well done… keep moving forward 😃

@BazettTony88772 Thanks, Tony. I may not be able to move tonight but it felt good at the time. Really appreciate the support.

@startingsober25 That is an awesome achievement and performance Amanda 👏👏 The outdoors provides so many healthy benefits, all for you. Congratulations 👏👏💪

@69darkside69 Asking feels impossible at times.

@startingsober25 I know it's hard, since my heart attack I've had to swallow my pride way to many times,and I will never get used to it, if you need help never be afraid to ask, but I hate those that make you feel like you have to beg, asking is hard enough!

@Brodiieeee31 Love this for you. You got this fist 🤜

I’ve drank every single day for the past month maybe longer, fell back into a dark hole with booze again and becoming unfit and fat.. however tonight is the night it changes. Running trainers on headphones in and I’m going to take control again 🙋🏻‍♂️🤝🤷🏻‍♂️

@fiachra_marren I hope that you are doing better now x

@startingsober25 Good on you 👍, keep up the good work 💪,I know what you mean,I tried the same two years ago and I feel guilty to what I did, to my self and my husband.hope all is ok 🍀🙏

@Markchoma1 🫶 I appreciate your confidence and truly hope this is where being stubborn actually helps me!

@startingsober25 Thats Awesome!!! Keep it up!!! And,remember... Even if, you should slip,that doesn't mean you failed. It just means you lost that round. But,im confident this is something you want bad enough, so my money is on you!

@IanBourneArt Wisteria envy! That’s beautiful 💕

My wisteria is looking rather bountiful this year….

@ReidGraham95968 Thanks, Graham, appreciated.

@startingsober25 Hey Amanda, here if you need to chat, nothing creepy just empathy and understanding yeah, genuinely🫶🏻🙏