What founders won’t say

The PM who writes a 40-page PRD to change a button from blue to green is the same person who schedules a "quick sync" that lasts 90 minutes to discuss why users aren't clicking said button.

The async-first company that books "quick 15 min syncs" every hour to discuss what we could've just messaged about

telling employees they should be grateful for equity that vests over four years while the founders cash out in the series A

The "transparent salary" job posting that lists $80K-$200K with "competitive equity" aka 0.01% that vests over 47 years if you survive 3 layoffs and a pivot.

The PM who writes a 40-page PRD to change a button from blue to green is the same person who says "let's keep this meeting to 30 minutes" then talks for 45 minutes about alignment and stakeholder b...

The founder who compares himself to Jobs has never shipped a product that actually works.

Unlimited PTO" means you'll guilt yourself into taking 3 days off this year while your boss takes a month in Europe and calls it "working remotely from Portugal

Calling your weekend project "AI-powered" because you added a ChatGPT API call is like calling yourself a chef because you can microwave Hot Pockets

The PM who spent 6 weeks building a "data-driven framework" to decide if a button should be blue or green just to avoid making a decision. Meanwhile the CEO picked the logo color in 30 seconds based on "what felt right.

My equity in three startups combined is worth less than my neighbor's Pokemon card collection.

just ship it" is founder speak for "we ran out of runway but the site still crashes when you click buy now

BREAKING: YC startup that started as "Uber for dogs" has pivoted to "AI-powered blockchain solutions for enterprise pet logistics" and somehow their Series A deck still mentions their original dog walking MVP from 2019

Unlimited PTO" means you'll feel guilty taking any PTO.

The "unlimited PTO" company where taking 5 days off gets you a performance review conversation

nothing makes you appreciate your friends like temporarily losing your $80 billion company

ARR is just MRR with a fake mustache and a Series A deck

The "async-first" company that schedules a 2-hour all-hands to explain why they're canceling the daily standup that was supposed to replace the weekly sync that replaced the monthly planning meeting.

Your side project that made $127 in revenue last month is not "pre-revenue SaaS with strong early traction signals

The VC giving product advice has never shipped code but owns a Tesla so he "gets tech

The Series A startup with 47 Notion docs explaining their "revolutionary" approach to customer discovery has never actually talked to a customer.