Graig

Literally anything to the outfield guys…

Sure is nice watching the Padres All-Star closer be willing to pitch more than one inning

@JimRussellSD Aren’t hitting coaches in charge of placing bat orders? And making sure there’s enough pine tar and donuts for the on-deck circle? Seems crucial

Yes…What does Steven Souza even do? The team is noticeably WORSE offensively than last year. Like a lot worse

@ShillinChi So all those plates with USA on them will be in a landfill in 2 months… great planning Walmart

Is this kinda like when the Simpsons regularly predicted the future

@Jordan_Bianchi Admittedly I’m not as well-read on Confucius as Clint Bowyer, but I’m not sure that’s in his writings

Clint Bowyer: "I'm done f***ing around with that kid. I don't know who it is, but geez." (Unclear who Bowyer is referring to.) Team: "All good. He's coming to your bumper." Bowyer: "I don't give a s**t. When you drive down on somebody's door for eight laps in a row off the turn, Confucius would say, "That's coming."

@lizzzzzzzzzzy Just a little guy. I’m still learning how to do it

@stateofbaseball yo, howd it go?!

Nobody wants this:

@AZCardinals @SeatGeek BOO AI

We asked Big Red to help announce the schedule... he may have taken the assignment too seriously @SeatGeek | #RiseUpRedSea | azcards.social/4eEwJIh

@amyknowsball @TheDegenWeekly That’s one of several reasons the shower has a drain

@TheDegenWeekly Do it in the shower like a man

One thing they don’t tell you about having a mustache is that blowing your nose becomes a disaster

@Mel_Mels_ It’s always 8 excruciating innings and then an incredible 9th. The playoffs are gonna give people heart attacks

This team is really good at winning games they should absolutely lose, and losing games they definitely should win. Idk what to say anymore, what a weird season this is.

Why is there an ad for Texas in the middle of a game in Milwaukee against the San Diego Padres?

Holy Sheets

@Cockadoodle_Boo Time to buy some tickets

I call mine the Mega Millions because most of yall would be feeling like you won the lottery

@Neely711 I don’t think it’s cheating. Some people I’ve dated think it is, others wanted to watch, too. Everyone’s different is what I learned over the years

Another day, another Twitter discourse. Am I crazy that I've never considered watching porn cheating? And not in like, a pick me way. I'm more curious about what someone is watching than if they're watching at all.

@mroctober Oh Reggie…

Wtf awesome

@astros @PrizePicks Boo gambling ad

Will more or less than 5,000 fans wear jerseys to tonight’s game? #ChaseTheFight x @PrizePicks

@shoewizard59 And that cash was supposed to be used to fix the clock 😔

The only other trade between the Diamondbacks and the Dodgers in the Mike Hazen era (since late 2016) was in 2018 when Arizona sent Tyler Pill to LA for cash considerations

@S1apSh0es I bought a truck last year with cash from a dealership. They tried at least 5 times with 3 different people to get me to finance it, it was annoying. Like, here’s money, give me the car and let’s go on our way

The problem here is that whereas in other countries the government would cover the cost of essential services like healthcare, higher education, public transit, etc, but in America we pay for those things out of pocket and not even straight up because most of the time it is enshrined into law that there must be this arbitrary middle man who is allowed to rob you blind. You can’t even buy a car straight from Ford. You must go through a dealership, that’s the law, and they upcharge you on everything and try their damnedest to saddle you with a high interest long term loan so they and the banks can bleed you for every last red cent.

@Dbacks YOU SENT HIM TO THE DODGERS!?

We have made the following trade:

@GolfDigest Who let that hat go into production without anyone saying it says Hunder Armour?

"If I could win one more tournament in my life, it would obviously be this one for that reason." Jordan Spieth on completing the career Grand Slam at the PGA Championship.