Absolute Eunuch

Been eating this granola that’s 11 grams of sugar per serving. Each bag is like… 2 cereal bowls’ worth. Just now realized there are 6 servings in a bag. Bruh..,.

It feels kinda fucked up that Peacock is forcing me to watch pickup truck commercials during the Tour de France, but there used to be a whole-ass pro cycling team named after a British SUV, so maybe we deserve this

Hate when I have to poop while I’m eating. It’s like washing your car during a thunderstorm

@xXJhXx0 @DetroitPistons Go comment under the Suns’ post, you jabroni

Final

Not a good week for Grahams

@Sanchezhof @DetroitPistons My brother in Christ, it’s summer league. I implore you to log off and touch some grass.

@DetroitPistons We own you

Back at it on Sunday

Broke or woke: commenting “who here in 2026” on your own YouTube videos

I have two pairs of those pants where you can zip off the bottom so to make them shorts, but I can’t find one pair and it’s 110+ all week, so I’m doing so much laundry

I want Chief Keef to be president for America 300

I’ve been taking daily vitamins for years, but I somehow forget how to swallow pills every couple days. I’m like… getting worse at it. Is that a thing?

Rapping is just an open world puzzle game with style points

NBA trade deadline going crazy. Everybody’s moving moving moving moving

St Vincent de Paul Wall, the People’s Champ

I heard LeBron James is looking for a new team, and I think he’d be a great fit for the claims team at my job. I’d even take a pay cut so he could get 35% of the salary cap as long as I get my referral bonus and he agrees to attend at least two happy hours

@BisqueBoi Jalen Hurts is Charlie Kirk?

There’s a guy in the reality tv show Love Island that looks exactly like Charlie Kirk

I hope Jalen Brown gets traded somewhere with no WiFi

“Convinced” was a strong word. I’m simply positing this theory

Hot take: I don’t think tall people can make impulsive decisions. The signals from their brain have to travel so far to get to the rest of their body that I’m convinced they have time to think things through. It’s science.

*onto

Whoever came up with the idea to superimpose advertisements into the field/court of play during the telecasts of sporting events ought to be drawn and quartered