kasia

how small are the looms that make the triscuits

THE SCREAM BRO 😭😭😭

i never even considered dr. pepper could be a woman. maybe i'm a bad person

For halloween I'm going as an idea you had but didn't pitch fast enough and then saw a day later in your dream publication.

i wrote about how friendship has evolved alongside the internet and how much i miss having booth friends. it's the first thing i've written in 5 years and i'm excited to share it! thegapinmyresume.substack.com/p/booth-friends

Hey stupid I’ll see you in court… the food court!! We are friends

Whenever someone doesn’t have a huge tv in their living room and it’s just a couch I’m like ok……………..

me trying to take more space in the world

dawson's creek

twin peaks

you can boil most movie themes into two categories: she's not like the other girls, and i want a kiss from daddy

claiming boredom is a major self-own. how could i ever be bored, im with me

For whom the doctor peppers

@alanna omg i came so close in a BK cafe once but chickened out on saying it, congrats on this milestone 🥳

huge personal news: after ~3 years of semi-regular patronage i now have a recognized 'the usual' at my local diner

“Thanks everyone for comments on the draft, here it is revised with all your edits.”

i can't watch any 73 questions segments from vogue because the format too closely resembles porn

Q. i weigh nothing, but you can still see me. if you put me in a person, i make the person lighter. what am i? A. a butthole

rebel without a cause

my water bottle has a cap i forget to open so every few hours i give it a little kiss

My dad had a good idea. Sometimes when cars drive by your house they honk at you. But you can't respond. That's where House Horn comes in

why use a shoehorn when you can hurt your finger